Not a whole lot to write about..
We've been busy with things lately...playdates, dinner with family and baseball. So I'm going to let you know a few things about this gluten free faze I'm going through (haha OK so it's not a faze lol)
So, I went to dinner at my mom's tonight and she bought me gluten free pasta. The only difference is, she got me corn pasta instead of the brown rice pasta.
Here is my rating:
Brown rice pasta on a scale of 1-10 (10 being the most amazing food I've ever had)
0.5/10 (yes u read that right-ZERO POINT FIVE)
Corn pasta
8/10
So i was very impressed with the corn pasta. Although it smelled like farts after it was cooked, adding sauce to it made it very yummy and no taste to it...so I'm happy with that...I can live with corn pasta, farts and all LOL
I've also been having chicken salads (yes everything is made at home fresh), lots of fruits, roasted chicken, fresh veggies...and popcorn...NO BUTTER ADDED (we have theatre popcorn here and i don't add butter)
But today i went to lunch with a very special person in my life, and the menu was pre-made so i didn't have a choice. It was grilled cheese on whole wheat bread. So since starting this diet, that has been my only cheat really. I had gluten today. I had no choice. But man was it nice to have bread that wasn't a sponge LOL
Tomorrow, and all of next week, I'll be a working lady with a little job 8-5pm. Making a bit of dough to purchase my 2 days of crazy ebaying. And, no, I can't talk about my ebay right now. Cause you'd all think i'm crazy...
G'nite ;)
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
the ALMOST uneventful day...
So, I saw my internist today. Not much to say actually. Not all blood work came back yet, and we are still waiting for me to get a colonoscopy (woohoo, more fun-ugh). So, I won't spend too much time boring you on a "finally" uneventful appointment.
Now for the EVENTFUL part of the day... (exaggerating for eventful part of course)
I was sitting on the love seat, with my blue grapes, catching up on some emails. I felt the fat part of my legs jiggling. I look down and thought, "wow my love seat is really loose". Once the "jiggling" stopped, i tried to move the love seat myself by shaking my booty and see if my legs jiggle. Didn't happen. Looked at my dog Pitoune and shook my head like "wow that was weird".
I log online and see a friend's status (she lives near by). "please tell me someone else has felt that too".
I was like "woah", that wasn't my love seat falling apart, that was an earthquake.
So it's day 2 on my gluten free diet.
Lunch: Hummus and veggies, bean chips and salsa
One word on these wheat free chips...YUM...YUM...YUM...(so that's 3 words). Their a bit spicy, and the salsa was spicy...it made for some good salsa and chips...mmmmmmmm
Here is the kind I got
Desert: Blue grapes
Supper: Gluten free pizza.
So, the pizza toppings part was amazing. (garlic seasoned chicken, garlic mushrooms, green pepers) YUM. The dough??? YUCK again. So i took all the toppings off and ate them as is, and got jay to take a bite of that freking gluten free dough.
These were his words "they can send a man to the moon, but they can't make a good gluten free bread"? hahahahahahha. AND, he said "listen, our garberator (food disposal) doesn't like it either". It was fighting with it to grind it up.
Here is the pizza dough I got
Desert: Fresh Ontario Peaches
So not much else to really write about today.
Oh except, I lost 3.5 lbs in one day on this "diet". BONUS
Now for the EVENTFUL part of the day... (exaggerating for eventful part of course)
I was sitting on the love seat, with my blue grapes, catching up on some emails. I felt the fat part of my legs jiggling. I look down and thought, "wow my love seat is really loose". Once the "jiggling" stopped, i tried to move the love seat myself by shaking my booty and see if my legs jiggle. Didn't happen. Looked at my dog Pitoune and shook my head like "wow that was weird".
I log online and see a friend's status (she lives near by). "please tell me someone else has felt that too".
I was like "woah", that wasn't my love seat falling apart, that was an earthquake.
So it's day 2 on my gluten free diet.
Lunch: Hummus and veggies, bean chips and salsa
One word on these wheat free chips...YUM...YUM...YUM...(so that's 3 words). Their a bit spicy, and the salsa was spicy...it made for some good salsa and chips...mmmmmmmm
Here is the kind I got
Desert: Blue grapes
Supper: Gluten free pizza.
So, the pizza toppings part was amazing. (garlic seasoned chicken, garlic mushrooms, green pepers) YUM. The dough??? YUCK again. So i took all the toppings off and ate them as is, and got jay to take a bite of that freking gluten free dough.
These were his words "they can send a man to the moon, but they can't make a good gluten free bread"? hahahahahahha. AND, he said "listen, our garberator (food disposal) doesn't like it either". It was fighting with it to grind it up.
Here is the pizza dough I got
So not much else to really write about today.
Oh except, I lost 3.5 lbs in one day on this "diet". BONUS
Monday, August 22, 2011
A little insult to injury...
This morning I woke up feeling funny. Annabelle was still sleeping, and Arielle had just had breakfast with Jason.
I came into the living room, and had to shut the blinds. Wow was it bright.
I decided to do my business in the bathroom, and as usual, I grabbed my magazine. (yes i do like to keep myself busy, even if I'm just peeing). As I was reading it, some of the letters were not there. So I thought to myself, "i must of looked at the sun". So I turned my head and started blinking really fast to see if i saw "sun spots" on the wall. Nope. None. So back to the magazines. I start blinking again and some of the letters disappear. I think to myself "holy shit, my retina's are detaching." A moment of panic came upon me. Got up, washed my hands, and decided to brush my teeth. While brushing, i blink non stop to try and figure out what's going on with my right eye. It was only the right eye. I finish brushing and sit down in my bedroom and realize what is happening.
I call Jay and say "your going to have to take Annabelle to the Dr's for her immunization. I'm getting an aura".
Mom was already on her way to watch Arielle, and then I had Jay come pick up Annabelle.
As soon as i hung up with Jason, i dig for my migraine meds. (30 ish dollars a pill-thank god for some coverage). I pop this pill, and it melts on my tongue. I pray and pray that I won't get the headache once the aura stops. (the aura part usually lasts 20mins-45 mins for me-the headache on the other hand lasts all day).
Jason shows up and grabs Belle. I sit on the couch with my mom, but i still feel very funny and really outta body. My mother says "go lay down". So i asked to let me know when Jason brings Belle back and she can head out. By this point my headache was so bad that I thought my head would fall off.
Jason comes home and sees me laying in bed. He says "stay in bed, your mom will make Belle breakfast and I'm heading back to work". So i ask him to tell my mom to wake me when she has to go. (she had plans).
My mother lets me sleep until about 11am. She offers to cancel her plans so that i can rest some more. But i assure her that I'm OK, I'll just keep the blinds closed and the kids can play.
When Jay comes home for lunch, I decide I should probably eat since I'm going to be starving by afternoon. ( I will get to my new "diet" once I'm done babbling about migraines)
At 1pm, I put the kids for a nap and i lay down on the couch. Arielle got up at 3 ish (to be honest i don't quite remember cause i wasn't feeling so good). She asked if she could watch "Higgly town hero's". Of course you can watch TV, that way i can stay laying down.
At around 4pm, Jason shows up at home and I'm STILL sleeping on couch. Arielle was playing with her Polly pockets. Gosh she's so good to her mama. Jay sits on couch and takes a rest.
By 5pm I wake up from a dream. A dream where I was dreaming in my dream. WEIRD.
I wake up Annabelle and get supper going. Holy lazy day. Yet, I guess it had to be lazy, cause i swear my head was going to fall off.
So here is all the info (according to MAYO CLINIC) on aura migraines.
Migraine with aura is a migraine that's preceded or accompanied by a variety of sensory warning signs or symptoms, such as flashes of light, blind spots or tingling in your hand or face.
Migraine with aura is generally treated in the same way as migraine without aura. And the same medications and self-care measures that help to prevent a migraine can also be used to prevent migraine with aura.
By Mayo Clinic staff
Migraine aura symptoms include temporary visual or sensory disturbances that typically precede the usual migraine symptoms — such as intense head pain, nausea and sensitivity to light and sound. Migraine aura usually occurs within an hour before head pain begins and generally lasts less than 60 minutes before disappearing. Sometimes, migraine aura may occur with little or no headache.
Visual signs and symptomsThe majority of people who experience migraine aura develop visual signs and symptoms. These may include:
Other sensory disturbancesOther temporary sensations sometimes associated with aura include:
The cause of migraine with aura isn't clearly understood. It's believed that the visual aura that may accompany migraine is like an electrical or chemical wave that moves across the part of your brain that processes visual signals (visual cortex). As the wave spreads, it may cause these visual hallucinations.
Many of the same factors that trigger migraine can also trigger migraine with aura, including stress, bright lights, fatigue and changes in sleep patterns.
While no specific factors appear to put you at risk for migraine aura, migraines in general seem to be more common in people with a family history of migraine. Migraines are also more common in women than men.
People who have migraine with aura are at a slightly higher risk of stroke. Women who have migraine with aura appear to have an even higher risk of stroke if they smoke or take birth control pills.
As i mentioned in a previous blog entry, being on birth control can cause a stroke if you get an aura migraine. That's why I had to stop birth control. And the reason I was on birth control was to regulate my "female cycle". And this may be TMI (too much info) for some of you, but i have not had a woman's cycle since April 14th. (and NO I'm not prego, don't even ask). So I really wish i could be on the "pill" so i could feel normal again.
Maybe I got the migraine from NOT getting a cycle and my hormones being all to "shit" again. Who knows, but I tell ya, it's not a fun "headache" to have. (not that ANY are fun) I know some of you have dealt with Auras before the headache, since I've spoken to some of you about it. But for those that don't know what that is, i have a few pictures that shows you what we aura sufferers go through. (my husband gets them a few times a month).
So the first picture shows how part of your vision starts to go. It kinda shows how I started to not see letters in my magazine. Kinda like you can't see the 10 and 11 of the clock picture A. Then as it gets worst you start to see less and less.
I came into the living room, and had to shut the blinds. Wow was it bright.
I decided to do my business in the bathroom, and as usual, I grabbed my magazine. (yes i do like to keep myself busy, even if I'm just peeing). As I was reading it, some of the letters were not there. So I thought to myself, "i must of looked at the sun". So I turned my head and started blinking really fast to see if i saw "sun spots" on the wall. Nope. None. So back to the magazines. I start blinking again and some of the letters disappear. I think to myself "holy shit, my retina's are detaching." A moment of panic came upon me. Got up, washed my hands, and decided to brush my teeth. While brushing, i blink non stop to try and figure out what's going on with my right eye. It was only the right eye. I finish brushing and sit down in my bedroom and realize what is happening.
I call Jay and say "your going to have to take Annabelle to the Dr's for her immunization. I'm getting an aura".
Mom was already on her way to watch Arielle, and then I had Jay come pick up Annabelle.
As soon as i hung up with Jason, i dig for my migraine meds. (30 ish dollars a pill-thank god for some coverage). I pop this pill, and it melts on my tongue. I pray and pray that I won't get the headache once the aura stops. (the aura part usually lasts 20mins-45 mins for me-the headache on the other hand lasts all day).
Jason shows up and grabs Belle. I sit on the couch with my mom, but i still feel very funny and really outta body. My mother says "go lay down". So i asked to let me know when Jason brings Belle back and she can head out. By this point my headache was so bad that I thought my head would fall off.
Jason comes home and sees me laying in bed. He says "stay in bed, your mom will make Belle breakfast and I'm heading back to work". So i ask him to tell my mom to wake me when she has to go. (she had plans).
My mother lets me sleep until about 11am. She offers to cancel her plans so that i can rest some more. But i assure her that I'm OK, I'll just keep the blinds closed and the kids can play.
When Jay comes home for lunch, I decide I should probably eat since I'm going to be starving by afternoon. ( I will get to my new "diet" once I'm done babbling about migraines)
At 1pm, I put the kids for a nap and i lay down on the couch. Arielle got up at 3 ish (to be honest i don't quite remember cause i wasn't feeling so good). She asked if she could watch "Higgly town hero's". Of course you can watch TV, that way i can stay laying down.
At around 4pm, Jason shows up at home and I'm STILL sleeping on couch. Arielle was playing with her Polly pockets. Gosh she's so good to her mama. Jay sits on couch and takes a rest.
By 5pm I wake up from a dream. A dream where I was dreaming in my dream. WEIRD.
I wake up Annabelle and get supper going. Holy lazy day. Yet, I guess it had to be lazy, cause i swear my head was going to fall off.
So here is all the info (according to MAYO CLINIC) on aura migraines.
Definition
By Mayo Clinic staffMigraine with aura is a migraine that's preceded or accompanied by a variety of sensory warning signs or symptoms, such as flashes of light, blind spots or tingling in your hand or face.
Migraine with aura is generally treated in the same way as migraine without aura. And the same medications and self-care measures that help to prevent a migraine can also be used to prevent migraine with aura.
Symptoms
By Mayo Clinic staff
Migraine aura symptoms include temporary visual or sensory disturbances that typically precede the usual migraine symptoms — such as intense head pain, nausea and sensitivity to light and sound. Migraine aura usually occurs within an hour before head pain begins and generally lasts less than 60 minutes before disappearing. Sometimes, migraine aura may occur with little or no headache.
Visual signs and symptomsThe majority of people who experience migraine aura develop visual signs and symptoms. These may include:
- Blind spots (scotomas), which are sometimes outlined by simple geometric designs
- Zigzag lines that gradually float across your field of vision
- Shimmering spots or stars
- Changes in vision
- Flashes of light
Other sensory disturbancesOther temporary sensations sometimes associated with aura include:
- Feelings of numbness, typically felt as tingling in one hand or on your face
- Difficulty with speech or language
- Muscle weakness
Causes
By Mayo Clinic staffThe cause of migraine with aura isn't clearly understood. It's believed that the visual aura that may accompany migraine is like an electrical or chemical wave that moves across the part of your brain that processes visual signals (visual cortex). As the wave spreads, it may cause these visual hallucinations.
Many of the same factors that trigger migraine can also trigger migraine with aura, including stress, bright lights, fatigue and changes in sleep patterns.
Risk factors
By Mayo Clinic staffWhile no specific factors appear to put you at risk for migraine aura, migraines in general seem to be more common in people with a family history of migraine. Migraines are also more common in women than men.
Complications
By Mayo Clinic staffPeople who have migraine with aura are at a slightly higher risk of stroke. Women who have migraine with aura appear to have an even higher risk of stroke if they smoke or take birth control pills.
As i mentioned in a previous blog entry, being on birth control can cause a stroke if you get an aura migraine. That's why I had to stop birth control. And the reason I was on birth control was to regulate my "female cycle". And this may be TMI (too much info) for some of you, but i have not had a woman's cycle since April 14th. (and NO I'm not prego, don't even ask). So I really wish i could be on the "pill" so i could feel normal again.
Maybe I got the migraine from NOT getting a cycle and my hormones being all to "shit" again. Who knows, but I tell ya, it's not a fun "headache" to have. (not that ANY are fun) I know some of you have dealt with Auras before the headache, since I've spoken to some of you about it. But for those that don't know what that is, i have a few pictures that shows you what we aura sufferers go through. (my husband gets them a few times a month).
So the first picture shows how part of your vision starts to go. It kinda shows how I started to not see letters in my magazine. Kinda like you can't see the 10 and 11 of the clock picture A. Then as it gets worst you start to see less and less.
This next picture shows how bad your aura is when it's full blown. I normally always see the zigzag lines in color, (like this picture) but today they were just a bright clear light. Kinda like a disco tech. (but i assure you, it wasn't a very fun disco-gotta keep a sense of humour right?)
This next picture shows a perfect example of how your peripheral vision disappears once the zigzag lines move completely to one side of your vision. You can't see anything from that side until it completely goes away. That part is just as scary since u feel like your going blind.
Day 1 of my GLUTEN FREE life
Lunch: 2 hard boiled eggs and 2 gluten free toast.
Eggs-YUM
Toast-THE most disgusting thing I've ever had my whole life
Have anyone of you tried gluten free bread? It's like eating a sponge. Actually it's more of a sponge then a sponge itself. NEVER again. No way. Can't do the bread. I will be cutting bread out for a while. Cause i ain't touching gluten free bread again. No way, no how.
Desert: Cantaloupe and blue grapes
Supper: Fresh garlic, fresh parsley, fresh mushrooms, chicken and brown rice noodles.
The noodles. One word. YUCK. That will get some getting used to. Like MAJOR getting used to. But it wasn't the worst food I've ever had (refer to gluten free bread)
Desert: Blueberries and peaeches
a little picture of my supper...looks good...but don't be fooled...the noodles were icky to me lol
Evening snack: Apple wedges with peanut butter.
So that's my day 1 on gluten free...Let's hope day 2 is UN-eventful
Sunday, August 21, 2011
where to begin???
Wow, it's been a while eh? Don't be fooled though. Just because I haven't written in a few months doesn't mean that the wheels in my head have stopped spinning.
I have a lot to say, so bare with me.
First and foremost, I'd like to talk a bit about facebook. Now i've slowly (and by slowly, i really mean SLOWLY) started to faze it out. Although originally i wanted to cut it out of my life completely, a few friends mentioned that i should keep it in case someone needs a hold of me and that facebook is universal, that way it's easier. Fair enough.
I may post some pictures and email or write on someones wall (although I'm not big on wall writing, because i don't like the "world" to see what i write to certain people) but my status changing is a thing of the past as of late. I may post a few memorable things, but my day to day life will no longer be public knowledge. If you are lucky enough (haha) to be on my blackberry messenger or texting, then please don't be shy lol. I will also be blogging a bit more during this new journey I've started. (the journey will be mentioned in a few min's).
So as I close a bit of a "facebook chapter" in my life, a few more chapters in my life will begin.
Okie dokie, now on to my life up to now. Wait, that would be too much writing if i wrote everything from the time we moved. So, I'll just say this. WE ARE MOVED WOOHOO. Pretty much settled, yet a few odds and ends to finish up on the new home. Yes it's our home now. The feeling I get pulling in my driveway is amazing. We have finally found our forever home. I crave it. Even if I'm out an hour. I crave coming home. I've also hosted more friends since we've moved then at the last house. It's more cozy here, since it's all open concept. Everyone is together, as opposed to cooking on one floor, and hanging out on a different floor (like the last house). My girls love this house so much. They play together in the new mickey mouse playroom all the time. No mommy or daddy needed...now that is something to WOOHOO about lol. So in a nutshell, our new home is the best decision we ever made (besides having children of course). If you haven't read about why I didn't want to buy this house, please refer to a later blog entry about not wanting this house :)
My new adventure...hmmmmm....not sure I can call it an adventure...OK, maybe it's a new journey. Yea, OK, my new journey.
So what I'm about to talk about has to do with, Lupus, rashes, not feeling good and a life changing style that will surely change my physical, mental, and whatever state.
For the last couple weeks, my lupus has gotten worst. Well, physically worst. A few of you have seen me lately while I'm dealing with this awful body rash. Not only awful. The worst ever body rash that makes me cranky, itchy, and burning.
My internist has prescribed a "lupus medication". I started taking and not long after I developed a rash like no other. It's been 8 days of this rash now. And NO it's not better. I see this internist on Tuesday.
I saw my family DR at the beginning of the week. He/She said "we'll wait to see what the internist says." So I continued with the meds.
A few days after, i had to go to the EMERG. Why?!? Cause, the rash has become a bit debilitating (OK a lot) and I have not been able to ignore it anymore. So, sometime this week, I saw a Dr at the EMERG who was taken aback by the look of this rash. He/She had me stop the meds (which i had already due to talking to my pharmacist) and gave me a shot on my ass. (oh isn't that fun?) I also started a new medication for the itching. I don't find it works too much. What this medication does though, is zonks me out for hours. So can i take it during the day? no not really, my girls need me. And I'm not rich enough to hire a nanny lol.
By the next day POST-EMERG, it was worst again. So off to the family DR. Now he took it a bit more seriously. So we talked about it, and gave me meds for it. Those don't really work either.
What is mind boggling now, to myself as well as my DR, is this rash here because of the meds, OR Lupus? Guess, the internist I'm seeing soon will be able to hopefully answer that one. So for the meantime, I get to hang out in loose clothing and sit by the fan, so that my rash feels a bit better. The fan cools it down and gives me temporarily relief.
Here are some pictures of this rash I speak of. I had to crop some things out of it, due to privacy. This is after all, a blog about a talk-aholic, and not a naked-holic. Although, I could start a new blog page for that, if people show interest. :)
Forgot to mention that my fingers are in rough shape too. I have trouble bending them if they haven't been bent in a while. There's little tiny cluster of rash all over the joints. That is as painful, if not more then my body.
Here comes the "new journey" part. This passed weekend, i had the chance to speak with a very wise woman. We had a good conversation about lupus, rash, my joint pain. Anything and everything. And we got talking about a change of lifestyle when it comes to food and nutrition.
We decided, to start me on a gluten, and dairy free "diet". I am sure most of you know how much poisons gluten is for your body. And tests have shown time and time again, that gluten free makes your overall feel better (joint pain included).
Over the last few days I've done some research on this type of diet and decided that I must do this, not only for me, but for my family. My girls really need their mother to start feeling better. On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the best I feel, I would give myself a 4 ish, sometimes 6. And that isn't good enough for me or my family.
Today, Jason and I took each one child to do some errands, and off I went. I first stopped at the market (l'amis). I got a crap load of fresh produce. So many fresh fruits and veggies.
My next stop was at a special store to pick up gluten free products. I got everything from pasta, to soy sauces, to BBQ sauce to muffins, to pizza dough, to bread, all gluten free. You name it, i got it. I could probably take a picture of everything i got, but i'm sure u get the idea and don`t want to be bored with pictures of gluten free products.
I am really looking forward to this new lifestyle and i'm ready to feel better. I have a really good friend who is going to teach me how to cook gluten free and make it taste yummy. And she sure knows how to cook, so i`m looking forward to spending time with her and learning her tricks.
Of course I have a lot more to say, but for now, i'm going to leave you all with this. I still have a HUGE part of my life to write about, but, this will have to wait. For now, I will document my life on gluten, and dairy free.
Thanks for those who continue to support me and are there no matter what. You are a rare find.
I have a lot to say, so bare with me.
First and foremost, I'd like to talk a bit about facebook. Now i've slowly (and by slowly, i really mean SLOWLY) started to faze it out. Although originally i wanted to cut it out of my life completely, a few friends mentioned that i should keep it in case someone needs a hold of me and that facebook is universal, that way it's easier. Fair enough.
I may post some pictures and email or write on someones wall (although I'm not big on wall writing, because i don't like the "world" to see what i write to certain people) but my status changing is a thing of the past as of late. I may post a few memorable things, but my day to day life will no longer be public knowledge. If you are lucky enough (haha) to be on my blackberry messenger or texting, then please don't be shy lol. I will also be blogging a bit more during this new journey I've started. (the journey will be mentioned in a few min's).
So as I close a bit of a "facebook chapter" in my life, a few more chapters in my life will begin.
Okie dokie, now on to my life up to now. Wait, that would be too much writing if i wrote everything from the time we moved. So, I'll just say this. WE ARE MOVED WOOHOO. Pretty much settled, yet a few odds and ends to finish up on the new home. Yes it's our home now. The feeling I get pulling in my driveway is amazing. We have finally found our forever home. I crave it. Even if I'm out an hour. I crave coming home. I've also hosted more friends since we've moved then at the last house. It's more cozy here, since it's all open concept. Everyone is together, as opposed to cooking on one floor, and hanging out on a different floor (like the last house). My girls love this house so much. They play together in the new mickey mouse playroom all the time. No mommy or daddy needed...now that is something to WOOHOO about lol. So in a nutshell, our new home is the best decision we ever made (besides having children of course). If you haven't read about why I didn't want to buy this house, please refer to a later blog entry about not wanting this house :)
My new adventure...hmmmmm....not sure I can call it an adventure...OK, maybe it's a new journey. Yea, OK, my new journey.
So what I'm about to talk about has to do with, Lupus, rashes, not feeling good and a life changing style that will surely change my physical, mental, and whatever state.
For the last couple weeks, my lupus has gotten worst. Well, physically worst. A few of you have seen me lately while I'm dealing with this awful body rash. Not only awful. The worst ever body rash that makes me cranky, itchy, and burning.
My internist has prescribed a "lupus medication". I started taking and not long after I developed a rash like no other. It's been 8 days of this rash now. And NO it's not better. I see this internist on Tuesday.
I saw my family DR at the beginning of the week. He/She said "we'll wait to see what the internist says." So I continued with the meds.
A few days after, i had to go to the EMERG. Why?!? Cause, the rash has become a bit debilitating (OK a lot) and I have not been able to ignore it anymore. So, sometime this week, I saw a Dr at the EMERG who was taken aback by the look of this rash. He/She had me stop the meds (which i had already due to talking to my pharmacist) and gave me a shot on my ass. (oh isn't that fun?) I also started a new medication for the itching. I don't find it works too much. What this medication does though, is zonks me out for hours. So can i take it during the day? no not really, my girls need me. And I'm not rich enough to hire a nanny lol.
By the next day POST-EMERG, it was worst again. So off to the family DR. Now he took it a bit more seriously. So we talked about it, and gave me meds for it. Those don't really work either.
What is mind boggling now, to myself as well as my DR, is this rash here because of the meds, OR Lupus? Guess, the internist I'm seeing soon will be able to hopefully answer that one. So for the meantime, I get to hang out in loose clothing and sit by the fan, so that my rash feels a bit better. The fan cools it down and gives me temporarily relief.
Here are some pictures of this rash I speak of. I had to crop some things out of it, due to privacy. This is after all, a blog about a talk-aholic, and not a naked-holic. Although, I could start a new blog page for that, if people show interest. :)
Here comes the "new journey" part. This passed weekend, i had the chance to speak with a very wise woman. We had a good conversation about lupus, rash, my joint pain. Anything and everything. And we got talking about a change of lifestyle when it comes to food and nutrition.
We decided, to start me on a gluten, and dairy free "diet". I am sure most of you know how much poisons gluten is for your body. And tests have shown time and time again, that gluten free makes your overall feel better (joint pain included).
Over the last few days I've done some research on this type of diet and decided that I must do this, not only for me, but for my family. My girls really need their mother to start feeling better. On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the best I feel, I would give myself a 4 ish, sometimes 6. And that isn't good enough for me or my family.
Today, Jason and I took each one child to do some errands, and off I went. I first stopped at the market (l'amis). I got a crap load of fresh produce. So many fresh fruits and veggies.
My next stop was at a special store to pick up gluten free products. I got everything from pasta, to soy sauces, to BBQ sauce to muffins, to pizza dough, to bread, all gluten free. You name it, i got it. I could probably take a picture of everything i got, but i'm sure u get the idea and don`t want to be bored with pictures of gluten free products.
I am really looking forward to this new lifestyle and i'm ready to feel better. I have a really good friend who is going to teach me how to cook gluten free and make it taste yummy. And she sure knows how to cook, so i`m looking forward to spending time with her and learning her tricks.
Of course I have a lot more to say, but for now, i'm going to leave you all with this. I still have a HUGE part of my life to write about, but, this will have to wait. For now, I will document my life on gluten, and dairy free.
Thanks for those who continue to support me and are there no matter what. You are a rare find.
Friday, June 17, 2011
A bit of a scare
So, we all know how excited I've been about our move. I can't shut up about it. I haven't been this happy in a while. I feel great (besides still being a bit swollen from a flare up), my girls are happy, we have my husband home again and we're living in a gorgeous home. You would think that nothing should go wrong right?
Not in my world. I don't lead a "normal" life. Not gonna happen. Never. That's what i am lead to believe as much as I try my hardest to always be positive, something creeps up. But this time it didn't give me noticed and it snuck up...WAY too fast.
Last night Jay and I were hanging out in the living room. At approximately 10:18 ish pm, I get a sudden chest pain. Not the usual, anxiety chest pain. I've had shortness of breath before. But this was different. An elephant, or someone realllllly heavy was sitting on my chest from the inside. It hurt so bad. I had nausea and sweating with it. (and no before you assume, it was NOT a panic attack-I've had those before...like i said, this was different) I was sweating so bad that my hair was dripping wet. I thought I was going to throw up. It felt like a huge clot wanted to come out of my chest. I was stumped on what to do.
Jason said "why don't you lay down a bit". So layed down on my recliner couch and closed my eyes. Boy did it hurt. So weird this feeling. It lasted 20 min's and then i felt ok. But within 10 min's of feeling ok i felt funny again. It was harder to catch my breath and this time i was a bit more scared since this sounded like what my mother had when she had her heart attack.
What do I do? Do i just call the Dr in the morning or do i head to emerg tonight? Do i call my mom to ask what her symptoms were in details or do i not worry her?
I chose to first call and talk to my mom and i tried to be non-chalant about my questions to her, but my mom knows me better then i know myself. And i know she will worry about me, but she's my mom and we're close. If my girls were going through something I would definitely want to know. So right away she said "you have chest pain don't you"? I said "well it kinda went away". She said "Rachelle you've had chest pain a lot lately (approx-4 ish months) and i think u should get checked". I said "yea maybe i will". I hung up and told Jay what mom said. He said "do you want to go"? I said "we'll see".
Phone rings. It's mom. She says "you're not gone yet?" So i promised i would go. I brushed my teeth and got dressed and off i went. I could drive myself. I didn't want the girls to be woken up.
I arrived and told them a play by play of what happened and the time frame but that i was feeling better. I went in right away and the nurse asked if heart problems run in my family. Well, i would say BIG TIME. My mother's father (who i called Pepe) died very young of a heart attack. Golf was his life. He lived and breathed anything to do with golf. One day he told my mom that if he had to go, dying on the golf course would be his ideal way to go. That's what happened. He died on the golf course. (hence the reason I'm SO very superstitious). I was 10 years old and remember it all too well. My mom's brother (my uncle Roberto) had his first MASSIVE heart attack at the age of 38. He was lucky to be alive because this was the biggest heart attack one can get. Not many survive this type. One day at the age of 49 he had a Dr's appointment. On his way home (on his bike) he had a heart attack and passed away. So heartbreaking since he had just seen his Dr. I was 29. Then as most of you know my mother had a heart attack a week before this past Christmas. So to make a long story longer (lol) I have a history of heart disease in my family.
They asked if i have any medical conditions. I said "well nothing except Lupus". Now the Dr i saw in the ER was so amazing and so nice. I really was treated like gold/royalty last night. She said that Lupus can raise the complications with your heart and other parts of your body. She wanted to be on the safe side and said we are going to do some tests.
By this point i felt a bit dumb cause i really did feel better, but knowing what i know about heart attacks at a young age in my family i went along and felt better that I did stay.
I was in the heart room of the hospital for a while. I had an ECG and blood work. I was hooked up to a few monitors and also had oxygen. The Dr said that if the first set of blood work comes back negative she wants to do blood work 6 hours after my "attack", which would bring us to 4:30am. She wanted me to be monitored all night. A nurse then came and hooked up an IV just in case i needed meds. When she poked me it hurt like a son of a B****. I felt liquid poor down. She said "oh your a bleeder". I looked on the floor and there was a HUGE pool of blood-for real. She said "it looks worst then what it is". I said "your trained to say that". She loved my sense of humour. Those nurses who were with me were such sweet woman. I was lucky.
I get moved into an isolation room so that i can have quietness and privacy while resting. (wow eh? not every day you get that treatment at the ER lol). They closed these big glass doors and a curtain and i dosed off while being monitored and on oxygen. (the oxygen felt SO good)
I get woken up at 4:38 am for more blood work. They said, if this comes back negative you can go home after the Dr sees you.
5:32 am comes around and i get woken up by Dr. I get another ECG. Normal. She says what happened was the possibility of a type of indigestion that mimics a heart attack. Although i didn't have heartburn, it doesn't mean it wasn't indigestion and because of the history and my condition it was better safe then sorry. To be honest, i don't feel like it was indigestion. This was true pain and something I'd never felt. But I'm glad (if only for peace of mind) that i got checked.
I can tell you, I don't lead a dull life even when i try too. But i won't let this bring me down. I'm looking forward to a summer of activities, exercise and time with family and friends. When I talk about medical problems I have in my life, it's just to babble and talk about my life. It's not to get pity and for people to say "oh poor Rachelle".
LIFE SURE LIKES TO KEEP ME ON MY TOES.
![]()
Not in my world. I don't lead a "normal" life. Not gonna happen. Never. That's what i am lead to believe as much as I try my hardest to always be positive, something creeps up. But this time it didn't give me noticed and it snuck up...WAY too fast.
Last night Jay and I were hanging out in the living room. At approximately 10:18 ish pm, I get a sudden chest pain. Not the usual, anxiety chest pain. I've had shortness of breath before. But this was different. An elephant, or someone realllllly heavy was sitting on my chest from the inside. It hurt so bad. I had nausea and sweating with it. (and no before you assume, it was NOT a panic attack-I've had those before...like i said, this was different) I was sweating so bad that my hair was dripping wet. I thought I was going to throw up. It felt like a huge clot wanted to come out of my chest. I was stumped on what to do.
Jason said "why don't you lay down a bit". So layed down on my recliner couch and closed my eyes. Boy did it hurt. So weird this feeling. It lasted 20 min's and then i felt ok. But within 10 min's of feeling ok i felt funny again. It was harder to catch my breath and this time i was a bit more scared since this sounded like what my mother had when she had her heart attack.
What do I do? Do i just call the Dr in the morning or do i head to emerg tonight? Do i call my mom to ask what her symptoms were in details or do i not worry her?
I chose to first call and talk to my mom and i tried to be non-chalant about my questions to her, but my mom knows me better then i know myself. And i know she will worry about me, but she's my mom and we're close. If my girls were going through something I would definitely want to know. So right away she said "you have chest pain don't you"? I said "well it kinda went away". She said "Rachelle you've had chest pain a lot lately (approx-4 ish months) and i think u should get checked". I said "yea maybe i will". I hung up and told Jay what mom said. He said "do you want to go"? I said "we'll see".
Phone rings. It's mom. She says "you're not gone yet?" So i promised i would go. I brushed my teeth and got dressed and off i went. I could drive myself. I didn't want the girls to be woken up.
I arrived and told them a play by play of what happened and the time frame but that i was feeling better. I went in right away and the nurse asked if heart problems run in my family. Well, i would say BIG TIME. My mother's father (who i called Pepe) died very young of a heart attack. Golf was his life. He lived and breathed anything to do with golf. One day he told my mom that if he had to go, dying on the golf course would be his ideal way to go. That's what happened. He died on the golf course. (hence the reason I'm SO very superstitious). I was 10 years old and remember it all too well. My mom's brother (my uncle Roberto) had his first MASSIVE heart attack at the age of 38. He was lucky to be alive because this was the biggest heart attack one can get. Not many survive this type. One day at the age of 49 he had a Dr's appointment. On his way home (on his bike) he had a heart attack and passed away. So heartbreaking since he had just seen his Dr. I was 29. Then as most of you know my mother had a heart attack a week before this past Christmas. So to make a long story longer (lol) I have a history of heart disease in my family.
They asked if i have any medical conditions. I said "well nothing except Lupus". Now the Dr i saw in the ER was so amazing and so nice. I really was treated like gold/royalty last night. She said that Lupus can raise the complications with your heart and other parts of your body. She wanted to be on the safe side and said we are going to do some tests.
By this point i felt a bit dumb cause i really did feel better, but knowing what i know about heart attacks at a young age in my family i went along and felt better that I did stay.
I was in the heart room of the hospital for a while. I had an ECG and blood work. I was hooked up to a few monitors and also had oxygen. The Dr said that if the first set of blood work comes back negative she wants to do blood work 6 hours after my "attack", which would bring us to 4:30am. She wanted me to be monitored all night. A nurse then came and hooked up an IV just in case i needed meds. When she poked me it hurt like a son of a B****. I felt liquid poor down. She said "oh your a bleeder". I looked on the floor and there was a HUGE pool of blood-for real. She said "it looks worst then what it is". I said "your trained to say that". She loved my sense of humour. Those nurses who were with me were such sweet woman. I was lucky.
I get moved into an isolation room so that i can have quietness and privacy while resting. (wow eh? not every day you get that treatment at the ER lol). They closed these big glass doors and a curtain and i dosed off while being monitored and on oxygen. (the oxygen felt SO good)
I get woken up at 4:38 am for more blood work. They said, if this comes back negative you can go home after the Dr sees you.
5:32 am comes around and i get woken up by Dr. I get another ECG. Normal. She says what happened was the possibility of a type of indigestion that mimics a heart attack. Although i didn't have heartburn, it doesn't mean it wasn't indigestion and because of the history and my condition it was better safe then sorry. To be honest, i don't feel like it was indigestion. This was true pain and something I'd never felt. But I'm glad (if only for peace of mind) that i got checked.
I can tell you, I don't lead a dull life even when i try too. But i won't let this bring me down. I'm looking forward to a summer of activities, exercise and time with family and friends. When I talk about medical problems I have in my life, it's just to babble and talk about my life. It's not to get pity and for people to say "oh poor Rachelle".
LIFE SURE LIKES TO KEEP ME ON MY TOES.
Here is my VERY unattractive picture of last night
it's a little dark since the isolation room i was in was dark
Amazing what a bit of oxygen can do too
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
A new house that has become our home
"What dad?? You want us to look at THIS house?? You have to be kidding me." "Rachelle, just humour me and come see it". "FINE"
October 2010. We're off to view this "new" dump, er I mean house. We get to the street, and right away I'm moody cause i don't want an "older" house. (this house is maybe 30 years which isn't THAT old). I ignore my surroundings and the other houses on this street. I am judging it from the beginning. (i knew what it looked like from MLS-the place you can find homes for sale in my area)
Dad unlocks the door. He walks in ahead of us. Right away it was "OMG this smell is freking sick". We start to tour this shit hole. (yes i was that cranky) Right away i say "dad i don't want this house. We can look for fun but there's no way, NO how I'm moving into this gross house".
Now most of you saw the "before renos" pictures (i'm going to post a few before, during and after pictures). The pictures don't do it justice. This house was in such bad shape when we saw it. From far it looked ok ish, but believe me you would of puked just walking through those doors. The stench was enough to make your eyes water.
After about 15 ish minutes of touring, my dad says "you can do this, and this and this. It shoudlnt' take you long and it would look good. The potential is there". I glaze at Jason and I KNEW right there I was in trouble. He had a twinkle in his eye. No lie. I kept my mouth shut at that moment so i wouldn't make my dad upset.
When we were done I just looked at my dad and said "jay and i will talk about it". He proceeded to tell me "make your move quick cause this house will sell very quickly". "Um sure dad, whatever you say".
We get the in the car and we aren't even OUT of the driveway when I look at Jason and say "no way hosay. We are NOT getting this house". He said so much about what he could do to the place. I was like "Jay, it stinks, it's gross, it's got paneling ALLL OVER including ceilings and walls. YUCK". He said we can talk about it for a few days, which i proceeded to tell him we could talk about it but my answer is NO.
SOLD-freg we bought the house...omg what am i gonna do? I have butterflies (poo cramps) in my belly now, at the fact that I have to endure "weeks" or renos into a house i don't want.
October is when we bought the house, and December is when we got possession. Renos start in December and jay starts "gutting" the whole house. He found mold, drug paraphernalia inside drop ceilings, among a crap load of other stuff. I wondered WTF did we get ourselves into.
In his mind he thought we would be moved by Annabelle's birthday (January 22). HA... Sure Jay.
The months go by and the more he does to the house, the more he realizes that the place has to be completely gutted in order to look good and non stinky.
The weeks have now turned to months and in his wonderful mind he says "we will celebrate Arielle's birthday in the new house". (may 3). HA... Sure Jay.
I would say that 3 ish months into renos, I realized that the house was going to in fact be our dream home. The more i came here, the more i realized that the lay out of this house is gorgeous, and it DID have potential. I trust Jay, and his taste is very similar to mine and he's very much a perfectionist when he does something. Nothing is half assed. He is by far (and everyone who knows him can attest to this) the most patient PERSON (not just man) I've ever met in my whole entire life and then some. I don't know how he does it but he does. If i had half his patience I'd be lucky.
Our "old" house is sold in March and closing June 15. YAY, we have 3 months to finish this new to us house. LOTS OF TIME eh? NO, not really.
Today, June 15, my poor hubby was STILL at the old house getting crap out. We spent all day yesterday purging and cleaning. I vacuumed areas in that house that had not been vacuumed in our 6 years there. It was amazing the JUNK we've accumulated over the years together (almost 12). But as I always say (actually i don't say that very often) someone else's junk is someone else's treasure.
Jason did all the gutting of the house pretty much by himself. Once renos started, he had amazing support to help him do the drywall, bathroom, lights, painting, staining (i could go on and on). I want to mention the first names of ALL the people who helped but I'm afraid that i would miss someone and that wouldn't be nice. (i gotta get my ass in gear soon, cause in July ish I'm hosting a thank you party for those who helped along the way. Doesn't matter if you only carried one box, your invited haha...well we'll see haha).
I admit i very much dislike painting and anything that goes with renovating. BUT, I'm a superb organizer and unpacker. (no I'm not even good at packing even though i did most of it with my mom. Even my mom could tell you i suck at packing). Packing and cleaning and organizing is another story. I rock haha.
While Jay and his part-time helpers renovated our beautiful new home, i was a single (ish) mommy for 6 months. And even thought it was hard sometimes knowing that poor Jay worked all day at his real work, then spent until 11 or later at the new house, it was worth it. He is proud of his work and he deserves the praise. We've had SO many of our new neighbors come in to see it. They saw it before we bought it when it was for sale and they were so discouraged about this house. Well when they met us, and told us about seeing Jay day in and day out working away they were curious (albeit nosy lol) to see what we (he) had done. So half my street has been on our home lol. It's ok thought, i love meeting new people and I have wonderful new neighbors. (although i do miss our closest "old" neighbors who will forever be in our life)
So here we are. In our new HOME. My crankiness in the beginning has been long gone and I'm rejoicing in our dream home. I've met a few people recently who have said that the street I've moved to is one of the most beautiful streets. And they are SO right. It's gorgeous here and not a very busy street which is SO good to raise my girls on. I am looking forward to posting pictures when it's 1000000% done. When things are on the walls, and the girls mickey mouse playroom is done. Heck, even my 2 baby girls are happier here. For real. Toffee (my poodle) on the other hand is another story. He's SO depressed. Pitoune (my schnoodle) is doing ok since she's happy no matter what as long as WE are all together.
Here are some pictures of the same room. BEFORE, DURING and AFTER...
October 2010. We're off to view this "new" dump, er I mean house. We get to the street, and right away I'm moody cause i don't want an "older" house. (this house is maybe 30 years which isn't THAT old). I ignore my surroundings and the other houses on this street. I am judging it from the beginning. (i knew what it looked like from MLS-the place you can find homes for sale in my area)
Dad unlocks the door. He walks in ahead of us. Right away it was "OMG this smell is freking sick". We start to tour this shit hole. (yes i was that cranky) Right away i say "dad i don't want this house. We can look for fun but there's no way, NO how I'm moving into this gross house".
Now most of you saw the "before renos" pictures (i'm going to post a few before, during and after pictures). The pictures don't do it justice. This house was in such bad shape when we saw it. From far it looked ok ish, but believe me you would of puked just walking through those doors. The stench was enough to make your eyes water.
After about 15 ish minutes of touring, my dad says "you can do this, and this and this. It shoudlnt' take you long and it would look good. The potential is there". I glaze at Jason and I KNEW right there I was in trouble. He had a twinkle in his eye. No lie. I kept my mouth shut at that moment so i wouldn't make my dad upset.
When we were done I just looked at my dad and said "jay and i will talk about it". He proceeded to tell me "make your move quick cause this house will sell very quickly". "Um sure dad, whatever you say".
We get the in the car and we aren't even OUT of the driveway when I look at Jason and say "no way hosay. We are NOT getting this house". He said so much about what he could do to the place. I was like "Jay, it stinks, it's gross, it's got paneling ALLL OVER including ceilings and walls. YUCK". He said we can talk about it for a few days, which i proceeded to tell him we could talk about it but my answer is NO.
SOLD-freg we bought the house...omg what am i gonna do? I have butterflies (poo cramps) in my belly now, at the fact that I have to endure "weeks" or renos into a house i don't want.
October is when we bought the house, and December is when we got possession. Renos start in December and jay starts "gutting" the whole house. He found mold, drug paraphernalia inside drop ceilings, among a crap load of other stuff. I wondered WTF did we get ourselves into.
In his mind he thought we would be moved by Annabelle's birthday (January 22). HA... Sure Jay.
The months go by and the more he does to the house, the more he realizes that the place has to be completely gutted in order to look good and non stinky.
The weeks have now turned to months and in his wonderful mind he says "we will celebrate Arielle's birthday in the new house". (may 3). HA... Sure Jay.
I would say that 3 ish months into renos, I realized that the house was going to in fact be our dream home. The more i came here, the more i realized that the lay out of this house is gorgeous, and it DID have potential. I trust Jay, and his taste is very similar to mine and he's very much a perfectionist when he does something. Nothing is half assed. He is by far (and everyone who knows him can attest to this) the most patient PERSON (not just man) I've ever met in my whole entire life and then some. I don't know how he does it but he does. If i had half his patience I'd be lucky.
Our "old" house is sold in March and closing June 15. YAY, we have 3 months to finish this new to us house. LOTS OF TIME eh? NO, not really.
Today, June 15, my poor hubby was STILL at the old house getting crap out. We spent all day yesterday purging and cleaning. I vacuumed areas in that house that had not been vacuumed in our 6 years there. It was amazing the JUNK we've accumulated over the years together (almost 12). But as I always say (actually i don't say that very often) someone else's junk is someone else's treasure.
Jason did all the gutting of the house pretty much by himself. Once renos started, he had amazing support to help him do the drywall, bathroom, lights, painting, staining (i could go on and on). I want to mention the first names of ALL the people who helped but I'm afraid that i would miss someone and that wouldn't be nice. (i gotta get my ass in gear soon, cause in July ish I'm hosting a thank you party for those who helped along the way. Doesn't matter if you only carried one box, your invited haha...well we'll see haha).
I admit i very much dislike painting and anything that goes with renovating. BUT, I'm a superb organizer and unpacker. (no I'm not even good at packing even though i did most of it with my mom. Even my mom could tell you i suck at packing). Packing and cleaning and organizing is another story. I rock haha.
While Jay and his part-time helpers renovated our beautiful new home, i was a single (ish) mommy for 6 months. And even thought it was hard sometimes knowing that poor Jay worked all day at his real work, then spent until 11 or later at the new house, it was worth it. He is proud of his work and he deserves the praise. We've had SO many of our new neighbors come in to see it. They saw it before we bought it when it was for sale and they were so discouraged about this house. Well when they met us, and told us about seeing Jay day in and day out working away they were curious (albeit nosy lol) to see what we (he) had done. So half my street has been on our home lol. It's ok thought, i love meeting new people and I have wonderful new neighbors. (although i do miss our closest "old" neighbors who will forever be in our life)
So here we are. In our new HOME. My crankiness in the beginning has been long gone and I'm rejoicing in our dream home. I've met a few people recently who have said that the street I've moved to is one of the most beautiful streets. And they are SO right. It's gorgeous here and not a very busy street which is SO good to raise my girls on. I am looking forward to posting pictures when it's 1000000% done. When things are on the walls, and the girls mickey mouse playroom is done. Heck, even my 2 baby girls are happier here. For real. Toffee (my poodle) on the other hand is another story. He's SO depressed. Pitoune (my schnoodle) is doing ok since she's happy no matter what as long as WE are all together.
Here are some pictures of the same room. BEFORE, DURING and AFTER...
BEFORE BATHROOM
DURING BATHROOM
AFTER BATHROOM
AFTER BATHROOM
BEFORE KITCHEN
BEFORE KITCHEN
DURING KITCHEN
DURING KITCHEN
AFTER KITCHEN
AFTER KITCHEN
So as you can see in the kitchen there are still doors to add but to be honest we are enjoying seeing what's in the cupboards haha.
I'd like to end this blog by thanking my Papa for making me see this house...I love you so much xoxo
I'd like to end this blog by thanking my Papa for making me see this house...I love you so much xoxo
Friday, April 29, 2011
Silent Suffering
What to me is silent suffering? Or "invisible" diseases?
When a person has a certain type of autoimmune disease like lupus. (and I know there are a LOT of types of autoimmune diseases)
Last fall I was diagnosed with Lupus.
Lupus: A chronic inflammatory condition caused by an autoimmune disease. An autoimmune disease occurs when the body's tissues are attacked by its own immune system. Patients with lupus have unusual antibodies in their blood that are targeted against their own body tissues.
For years I've suffered with symptoms that have been painful for me. Unknown rashes (i still suffer from), hair loss (which i suffer from big time....even lately people have commented on my hair loss), and very painful joints. I also get very fatigued at weird times.
I would say that it dates back to my Ottawa University days, when I was 19 years of age. I used to get over the nose and cheek bones rashes and I never really knew why.
Over the years, as many friends and family members know, I haven't felt the greatest. And the reason for me to write this entry is to show people that just because you "can't see" pain, it doesn't mean that it's IN OUR HEAD. (no this isn't geared to anyone in particular, it's a general statement for everyone who judges people that think we fake not feeling well, and even though we may not LOOK sick, it doesn't mean we're not suffering)
I don't know how many times in my life I've been told that it's all in my head. That I can't be as sick as i claim to be. I'm sorry but until you can become me (and that won't ever happen) you shouldn't judge how I, Rachelle Petitclerc feels. (yeah yeah I know I'm being dramatic here) I've also been told so many times "what? Your sick? AGAIN? Your always sick". If it was my choice I would NEVER be sick. I didn't choose to be sick. I was born this way I guess.
I've been told "well you have a beautiful, supportive family so be thankful for what you've got. A lot of people wishes they had what you've got.". OK, i do have the perfect family. And I'm thankful daily that I was able to have a beautiful family with Jason. I have a wonderful husband who truly is my best friend. He supports me on ANYTHING and EVERYTHING I've been through. But that doesn't change that I'm ill, and that I often don't feel well, or I'm fatigued and unable to do certain things.
I get days that my joints hurt to much that it's hard for me to even walk because my toes hurt so bad. I don't always talk about it with people because I'm sure people get tired of hearing about my "bobos". Jason is someone who doesn't get annoyed of me and really does listen to me. As I do to him. When you truly love someone you don't judge and you accept that person full heartedly.
A few days ago someone commented on my thin hair. They said "wow you have such thin hair on the top of your head". I have been told that so many times that i can't count that high. The only way I could get more hair is to be on birth control pill. Last summer I started taking it. My hair started to grow back so beautifully and so much more thicker. But there was a cost to that. And that was the cost of a possible stroke.
Once I started the birth control pill, i developed aura migraines. And that poses a huge risk. Being on birth control pill and aura migraines raises the chances of having a stroke. So i had a choice. Stay on birth control, and have beautiful hair with the possibility of a stroke OR get off birth control and lose may hair. And really there is only one answer. GET OFF THE PILL. I can live with no hair, but having a stroke isn't something I would like to deal with. (duh).
I do have a double whammy against me when it comes to my hair loss. I have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and that is a huge cause for hair loss. So add lupus AND PCOS and I'm kinda screwed in my hair department.
My hair and skin DR suggested getting a hair transplant in Toronto. But if I did go through with it chances are I'd still lose my hair. My health issues where my hair is concerned aren't going to go away, therefor I'd be wasting my money on a hair transplant.
The reason I wanted to write this entry isn't to get pity. It is to help people understand that just because things aren't necessarily seen, our pain isn't in our heads. We suffer just as much. And it's not always physically. Hair loss isn't fun for anyone, especially a woman who's still young (ish) and in her prime ( lol, i know that was funny eh? In my prime LOL)
It took me years to figure out why I've been so sick in my life. And I'm never going to be out of the woods with pain. But support is all I look for. Don't question me when I say I'm not feeling well because i promise I'm not lying.
When a person has a certain type of autoimmune disease like lupus. (and I know there are a LOT of types of autoimmune diseases)
Last fall I was diagnosed with Lupus.
Lupus: A chronic inflammatory condition caused by an autoimmune disease. An autoimmune disease occurs when the body's tissues are attacked by its own immune system. Patients with lupus have unusual antibodies in their blood that are targeted against their own body tissues.
For years I've suffered with symptoms that have been painful for me. Unknown rashes (i still suffer from), hair loss (which i suffer from big time....even lately people have commented on my hair loss), and very painful joints. I also get very fatigued at weird times.
I would say that it dates back to my Ottawa University days, when I was 19 years of age. I used to get over the nose and cheek bones rashes and I never really knew why.
Over the years, as many friends and family members know, I haven't felt the greatest. And the reason for me to write this entry is to show people that just because you "can't see" pain, it doesn't mean that it's IN OUR HEAD. (no this isn't geared to anyone in particular, it's a general statement for everyone who judges people that think we fake not feeling well, and even though we may not LOOK sick, it doesn't mean we're not suffering)
I don't know how many times in my life I've been told that it's all in my head. That I can't be as sick as i claim to be. I'm sorry but until you can become me (and that won't ever happen) you shouldn't judge how I, Rachelle Petitclerc feels. (yeah yeah I know I'm being dramatic here) I've also been told so many times "what? Your sick? AGAIN? Your always sick". If it was my choice I would NEVER be sick. I didn't choose to be sick. I was born this way I guess.
I've been told "well you have a beautiful, supportive family so be thankful for what you've got. A lot of people wishes they had what you've got.". OK, i do have the perfect family. And I'm thankful daily that I was able to have a beautiful family with Jason. I have a wonderful husband who truly is my best friend. He supports me on ANYTHING and EVERYTHING I've been through. But that doesn't change that I'm ill, and that I often don't feel well, or I'm fatigued and unable to do certain things.
I get days that my joints hurt to much that it's hard for me to even walk because my toes hurt so bad. I don't always talk about it with people because I'm sure people get tired of hearing about my "bobos". Jason is someone who doesn't get annoyed of me and really does listen to me. As I do to him. When you truly love someone you don't judge and you accept that person full heartedly.
A few days ago someone commented on my thin hair. They said "wow you have such thin hair on the top of your head". I have been told that so many times that i can't count that high. The only way I could get more hair is to be on birth control pill. Last summer I started taking it. My hair started to grow back so beautifully and so much more thicker. But there was a cost to that. And that was the cost of a possible stroke.
Once I started the birth control pill, i developed aura migraines. And that poses a huge risk. Being on birth control pill and aura migraines raises the chances of having a stroke. So i had a choice. Stay on birth control, and have beautiful hair with the possibility of a stroke OR get off birth control and lose may hair. And really there is only one answer. GET OFF THE PILL. I can live with no hair, but having a stroke isn't something I would like to deal with. (duh).
I do have a double whammy against me when it comes to my hair loss. I have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and that is a huge cause for hair loss. So add lupus AND PCOS and I'm kinda screwed in my hair department.
My hair and skin DR suggested getting a hair transplant in Toronto. But if I did go through with it chances are I'd still lose my hair. My health issues where my hair is concerned aren't going to go away, therefor I'd be wasting my money on a hair transplant.
The reason I wanted to write this entry isn't to get pity. It is to help people understand that just because things aren't necessarily seen, our pain isn't in our heads. We suffer just as much. And it's not always physically. Hair loss isn't fun for anyone, especially a woman who's still young (ish) and in her prime ( lol, i know that was funny eh? In my prime LOL)
It took me years to figure out why I've been so sick in my life. And I'm never going to be out of the woods with pain. But support is all I look for. Don't question me when I say I'm not feeling well because i promise I'm not lying.
Monday, April 25, 2011
What some friends suggested...
I've asked a few friends to suggest something to blog about...to be honest, i haven't felt like blogging lately. I have SO many topics I want to write about and these topics are SUCH huge things for me, that I don't want to open that part of my life just yet....so, here are a few topics I've been suggested....
1. BRIE....yes THAT STINKY CHEESE
This post about BRIE will be short and stinky, er i mean sweet
HAHA
So it all started at my cousin's Christmas party (pre kids). We had a get together and we all brought something for fun.
Someone thought it would be fun to bring brie. I had never had it, and thought it "may" be good.
They put it in the oven and after a while I thought the whole house smelled like semen. (YES SEMEN). I was like "WTF IS THAT SMELL"?
So to make a short story shorter, I never did try that stinky cheese. :)
I have a cousin named Josee, who lives in Ottawa. She loves brie so much that it must come out her pores...when I see her, I ask her to please please please put a yummy smelling perfume on. I don't want to hug her and say "Gosh Josee, you smell like semen" hahahahah
2. PARENTING STYLES
So there are 3 types of parenting styles.
Authoritarian
Permissive
Democratic
Authoritarian parents always try to be in control and exert their control on the children. These parents set strict rules to try to keep order, and they usually do this without much expression of warmth and affection. They attempt to set strict standards of conduct and are usually very critical of children for not meeting those standards. They tell children what to do, they try to make them obey and they usually do not provide children with choices or options.
Authoritarian parents don't explain why they want their children to do things. If a child questions a rule or command, the parent might answer, "Because I said so." Parents tend to focus on bad behavior, rather than positive behavior, and children are scolded or punished, often harshly, for not following the rules.
Children with authoritarian parents usually do not learn to think for themselves and understand why the parent is requiring certain behaviors.
Permissive parents give up most control to their children. Parents make few, if any, rules, and the rules that they make are usually not consistently enforced. They don't want to be tied down to routines. They want their children to feel free. They do not set clear boundaries or expectations for their children's behavior and tend to accept in a warm and loving way, however the child behaves.
Permissive parents give children as many choices as possible, even when the child is not capable of making good choices. They tend to accept a child's behavior, good or bad, and make no comment about whether it is beneficial or not. They may feel unable to change misbehavior, or they choose not to get involved.
Democratic parents help children learn to be responsible for themselves and to think about the consequences of their behavior. Parents do this by providing clear, reasonable expectations for their children and explanations for why they expect their children to behave in a particular manner. They monitor their children's behavior to make sure that they follow through on rules and expectations. They do this in a warm and loving manner. They often, "try to catch their children being good" and reinforcing the good behavior, rather than focusing on the bad.
For example, a child who leaves her toys on a staircase may be told not to do this because, "Someone could trip on them and get hurt and the toy might be damaged." As children mature, parents involve children in making rules and doing chores: "Who will mop the kitchen floor, and who will carry out the trash?"
Parents who have a democratic style give choices based on a child's ability. For a toddler, the choice may be "red shirt or striped shirt?" For an older child, the choice might be "apple, orange or banana?" Parents guide children's behavior by teaching, not punishing. "You threw your truck at Mindy. That hurt her. We're putting your truck away until you can play with it safely."
So, my friends/family/acquaintances, what is YOUR parent style?
For me, I'm the Democratic. I think giving kids choices is a good option. Now, i DO believe in time outs. I think a child who does something their not supposed to (hit/kick/push----you get the idea) needs to sit out. I think a time out is hard for young kids, because they get to sit out and watch the others have fun while their "reflecting" on things. (i really don't think they reflect that much on WHAT they did, but more on "oh i wish i was playing right now".)
Authoritarian is NOT my style. I've known/know some people who are like that.
Wait a minute, I'm guilty of saying "because I said so". BUT I think that's something a LOT of us do, but that doesn't mean we're "drill sargents". I also admit my oldest daughter does get punished for things (like I'll take away her Mickey mouse stuff), but i wouldn't say it's in a negative behavior. If i ask her to please stop doing what she's not supposed to be doing and i have to say it more then once or twice, something else needs to be done.
I've met people who are VERY critical of children who don't follow certain rules and to me, it's "kids will be kids". We've ALL been there. YES ALL OF US. So now that we've "grown up" (haha, don't think I've grown up yet...but that's a whole OTHER entry) it's our turn to try and raise our children the "right way". But the right way for me, isn't the same as you. Yes I'm talking about YOU :) hehe.
Permissive is also a type of parenting that I've seen people do. And that's OK, but for me I don't want my children to take over my household. My children will NOT RULE THE ROOST. (although i think they try really hard to do that). I think if you let your children do whatever they want at any given time, your in BIG trouble in the future. But what do I know. I'm not in the future yet.
*what i wrote up there is only my opinion and does not affect the opinions of anyone else*
3. HORMONAL MOTHER NATURE
Now, most men would probably say that "mother nature" is woman right?
We all know our spring has been VERY "hormonal". Hot, cold, snow, rain. (often all in one day).
And it does affect us in every way. One day it can be so nice outside, and we get our overdose of vitamin D. But the next day when we get dumped on with a foot of snow, we think "WTF, I got a face burn yesterday being outside all day and today it snowed so much I had to take out our kids snowsuits".
I guess I could get on the topic of hormones in general, but I won't get into it THAT much.
In a nutshell, our spring so far has been so hormonal it deserves to be on hormone therapy, until "it" decides which way to swing....
4. HOW TO MAKE THE PERFECT ROAST BEEF
Well, this is my favorite meal to eat at home. (next to home made pizza, ceasar salad, nachos, tacos, fajitas)
a) pt your roast in a pan
b) poke holes all over it
c) put fresh peeled (whole) garlic bulbs inside the holes
d) peel potatoes and cut them in half if their big or keep them whole if their small or baby potatoes
e) peel carrots (don't use baby carrots, they don't taste as good)
f) ALWAYS season everything...ALWAYS
g) put Italian seasoning from pampered chef , southwestern seasoning from pampered chef, and garlic powder
h) put these seasonings ALL over your roast/potatoes and carrots
g) peel about 6 (or more, i really put like 10) garlic bulbs and add them around the roast
h) add only and i repeat ONLY one cup of water into the pan
i) heat your oven to 350
j) it will be ready within 1 1/2 hours to 2 hours (depending how you like it...i like it WELL DONE)
k) when it's all ready, add another cup of water for about 5 ish minutes to make natural juices at the bottom that will be your "gravy" (don't need to add any cornstarch, the natural juices at bottom is sooooo freking good as is)
What NOT to do with a roast? NOT SURE but the hospital staff (i know, i know it's shipped) need to learn how to make yummy beef and not rubber beef LOL
1. BRIE....yes THAT STINKY CHEESE
This post about BRIE will be short and stinky, er i mean sweet
HAHA
So it all started at my cousin's Christmas party (pre kids). We had a get together and we all brought something for fun.
Someone thought it would be fun to bring brie. I had never had it, and thought it "may" be good.
They put it in the oven and after a while I thought the whole house smelled like semen. (YES SEMEN). I was like "WTF IS THAT SMELL"?
So to make a short story shorter, I never did try that stinky cheese. :)
I have a cousin named Josee, who lives in Ottawa. She loves brie so much that it must come out her pores...when I see her, I ask her to please please please put a yummy smelling perfume on. I don't want to hug her and say "Gosh Josee, you smell like semen" hahahahah
2. PARENTING STYLES
So there are 3 types of parenting styles.
Authoritarian
Permissive
Democratic
Authoritarian parents always try to be in control and exert their control on the children. These parents set strict rules to try to keep order, and they usually do this without much expression of warmth and affection. They attempt to set strict standards of conduct and are usually very critical of children for not meeting those standards. They tell children what to do, they try to make them obey and they usually do not provide children with choices or options.
Authoritarian parents don't explain why they want their children to do things. If a child questions a rule or command, the parent might answer, "Because I said so." Parents tend to focus on bad behavior, rather than positive behavior, and children are scolded or punished, often harshly, for not following the rules.
Children with authoritarian parents usually do not learn to think for themselves and understand why the parent is requiring certain behaviors.
Permissive parents give up most control to their children. Parents make few, if any, rules, and the rules that they make are usually not consistently enforced. They don't want to be tied down to routines. They want their children to feel free. They do not set clear boundaries or expectations for their children's behavior and tend to accept in a warm and loving way, however the child behaves.
Permissive parents give children as many choices as possible, even when the child is not capable of making good choices. They tend to accept a child's behavior, good or bad, and make no comment about whether it is beneficial or not. They may feel unable to change misbehavior, or they choose not to get involved.
Democratic parents help children learn to be responsible for themselves and to think about the consequences of their behavior. Parents do this by providing clear, reasonable expectations for their children and explanations for why they expect their children to behave in a particular manner. They monitor their children's behavior to make sure that they follow through on rules and expectations. They do this in a warm and loving manner. They often, "try to catch their children being good" and reinforcing the good behavior, rather than focusing on the bad.
For example, a child who leaves her toys on a staircase may be told not to do this because, "Someone could trip on them and get hurt and the toy might be damaged." As children mature, parents involve children in making rules and doing chores: "Who will mop the kitchen floor, and who will carry out the trash?"
Parents who have a democratic style give choices based on a child's ability. For a toddler, the choice may be "red shirt or striped shirt?" For an older child, the choice might be "apple, orange or banana?" Parents guide children's behavior by teaching, not punishing. "You threw your truck at Mindy. That hurt her. We're putting your truck away until you can play with it safely."
And a little humour ;)
So, my friends/family/acquaintances, what is YOUR parent style?
For me, I'm the Democratic. I think giving kids choices is a good option. Now, i DO believe in time outs. I think a child who does something their not supposed to (hit/kick/push----you get the idea) needs to sit out. I think a time out is hard for young kids, because they get to sit out and watch the others have fun while their "reflecting" on things. (i really don't think they reflect that much on WHAT they did, but more on "oh i wish i was playing right now".)
Authoritarian is NOT my style. I've known/know some people who are like that.
Wait a minute, I'm guilty of saying "because I said so". BUT I think that's something a LOT of us do, but that doesn't mean we're "drill sargents". I also admit my oldest daughter does get punished for things (like I'll take away her Mickey mouse stuff), but i wouldn't say it's in a negative behavior. If i ask her to please stop doing what she's not supposed to be doing and i have to say it more then once or twice, something else needs to be done.
I've met people who are VERY critical of children who don't follow certain rules and to me, it's "kids will be kids". We've ALL been there. YES ALL OF US. So now that we've "grown up" (haha, don't think I've grown up yet...but that's a whole OTHER entry) it's our turn to try and raise our children the "right way". But the right way for me, isn't the same as you. Yes I'm talking about YOU :) hehe.
Permissive is also a type of parenting that I've seen people do. And that's OK, but for me I don't want my children to take over my household. My children will NOT RULE THE ROOST. (although i think they try really hard to do that). I think if you let your children do whatever they want at any given time, your in BIG trouble in the future. But what do I know. I'm not in the future yet.
*what i wrote up there is only my opinion and does not affect the opinions of anyone else*
3. HORMONAL MOTHER NATURE
Now, most men would probably say that "mother nature" is woman right?
We all know our spring has been VERY "hormonal". Hot, cold, snow, rain. (often all in one day).
And it does affect us in every way. One day it can be so nice outside, and we get our overdose of vitamin D. But the next day when we get dumped on with a foot of snow, we think "WTF, I got a face burn yesterday being outside all day and today it snowed so much I had to take out our kids snowsuits".
I guess I could get on the topic of hormones in general, but I won't get into it THAT much.
In a nutshell, our spring so far has been so hormonal it deserves to be on hormone therapy, until "it" decides which way to swing....
a little chuckle at what our world has been through this past year so far
4. HOW TO MAKE THE PERFECT ROAST BEEF
Well, this is my favorite meal to eat at home. (next to home made pizza, ceasar salad, nachos, tacos, fajitas)
a) pt your roast in a pan
b) poke holes all over it
c) put fresh peeled (whole) garlic bulbs inside the holes
d) peel potatoes and cut them in half if their big or keep them whole if their small or baby potatoes
e) peel carrots (don't use baby carrots, they don't taste as good)
f) ALWAYS season everything...ALWAYS
g) put Italian seasoning from pampered chef , southwestern seasoning from pampered chef, and garlic powder
h) put these seasonings ALL over your roast/potatoes and carrots
g) peel about 6 (or more, i really put like 10) garlic bulbs and add them around the roast
h) add only and i repeat ONLY one cup of water into the pan
i) heat your oven to 350
j) it will be ready within 1 1/2 hours to 2 hours (depending how you like it...i like it WELL DONE)
k) when it's all ready, add another cup of water for about 5 ish minutes to make natural juices at the bottom that will be your "gravy" (don't need to add any cornstarch, the natural juices at bottom is sooooo freking good as is)
VOILA
What NOT to do with a roast? NOT SURE but the hospital staff (i know, i know it's shipped) need to learn how to make yummy beef and not rubber beef LOL
So in the next few days, I'm going to try reallllllly hard (haha can't be that hard for me eh?) to take pics of my day as i "live" it. Wouldn't it be NEATER if i take a video of my day as i see it? I could take my SONY cam and video tape my whole day. hmmmm.... *my thinking cap is on AGAIN*
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
My journey and struggles to mommyhood
So, a few people lately have asked me to explain the hardship I endured while trying to become a mommy. So I've decided to blog about it. I'm warning you, it's going to be long, and graphic.
So Jason and I met on the eve of his 19th birthday, September 24, 1999. Two months prior, I had turned 22. (I'm such a COUGAR EH?) Now I'm not going to explain our whole courtship, since you all know that we DID end up together. OK, well maybe just a little bit. Ah what the heck, I'll talk about it a little bit (ish).
I met him at my cousins house, and I remember going up to her and asking "who's the guy with the really blue eyes?". Well Jason and I got talking a lot that night. But he drank a lot and ended up getting sick. He then proceeded to pass out on the couch. (so attractive lol). So I slipped him my number and stuck it in his pocket.
The next day, after his baseball practice, he called me and told me that some of his friends were going out to the bar (since he IS 19....but had been drinking for quite a few years before haha) to celebrate. He asked me to come along. I asked my cousin to come but she didn't want to. I didn't really like being alone (well not along per se, but you know, with no one I know) but I went anyways.
That night he got SO hammered, that I drove him home (I was DD). He wanted to watch a movie. But right away he passed out, so I dragged (no I'm serious...I literally dragged him) into his bed and left. I thought to myself "um not too sure this guy is for me". Come to find out now (since we've been together so long), the next day he was a little upset that I didn't actually put blankets on him when I left. BIG BABY LOL
The next day he asked me out again. (really?! do I have too?) He said don't worry I will be SOBER. Hmmm, OK fine. And the rest is history (ish).
Fast forward to January 2002. We got married January 19th, 2002, and on our honeymoon we met up with another cousin of mine and went bowling. U know that little red line you can't cross when you bowl? Well I passed that line, and I didn't know this before but it's so darn slippery that I fell so hard on my back/right hip. Jason and my cousin laughed (I was kinda mad at that....but only because I was so hurt).
So we continue on with our honeymoon (which was a big huge road trip...from home to Niagara Falls and we would spend nights in different hotels and enjoy some great food) and I'm really sore through the whole trip. To this day I still have hip issues because of my fall. But this fall is what saved my life.
I come home and see my Dr for this pain. He said "well why don't we do an ultrasound". OK, sure, but not really understanding what an ultrasound will show if I hurt my right hip.
That week, after my ultrasound, I see my Dr again. He said "you have a cyst, so I'm going to refer you to an OBGYN." When I see this new Dr, he wants to do a laparoscopy. (you know the surgery that they go through ur belly button). So by March, i get my surgery.
All was good (or so I thought). By May of that year, I'm in SUCH pain, that my OBGYN sends me for another ultrasound. (I forgot to mention that my cyst is on the left ovary). He says my cyst is still there and he would like to do surgery again. WHAT? No way man, summer is coming and I DO NOT want another surgery before summer. So he says "OK, this Fall, we will do the surgery, enjoy your summer".
That was one of my worst decisions of my life. I suffered all summer with pain and by August I was in such pain that my OBGYN took me into emergency surgery. Not only did he have to do another laparoscopy, but he had to do a laparotomy (you know where they cut you like a c-section?). When I saw him post surgery (I was in hospital 3 days) he said, "Rachelle I will see you in 2 weeks times for a follow up".
I get out of hospital on Sunday (ish...give or take a day). By Tuesday his office calls. Now everyone knows that "NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS" right? His secretary said "Dr _____ wants to see you in his office on Thursday". I start shaking, and almost crying. I said, "this has to be bad news, please please please I'm begging can I come in today". She says "of course Rachelle".
So I bring Jason with me. And thank god I did. Because my Dr started telling me about the surgery and what this "cyst" was. He said "so the cyst I took out didn't look right, and I sent it out right away for a biopsy and". Right after that he mentions the word "cancer". Well that was it for me. I was gone. My mind, my eyes, and my hearing was so foggy that I almost passed out. At the end he said "you have an appointment booked for the cancer clinic in Sudbury".
Now, the few weeks that passed are pretty hazy. I also developed "costochondritis." Here is a link to what this is http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/costochondritis/DS00626 .From the stress of everything going on I was getting stress related health issues. On top of that, I didn't heal well down where they cut me either. I developed an infection in the area that lasts 2 years. YES 2 freaking years.
So I won't go into many details about going to Sudbury. But I had 2 appointments in Sudbury total. One with a radiologist who decided I won't need treatment but that I'm to get a "pap" test and ultrasounds every 3 months for while. And then I meet the mother of all Dr's for ovaries. He specializes in ONLY ovaries. My mom and dad (and jay of course) came to both my appointments.
So with that being said, my OBGYN says, that pregnancy may never happen. And he suggests attending a fertility center. He says there are great ones in Toronto or Ottawa. Well we chose Ottawa because I have relatives there who could "house" us while we do treatments.
I start going to Ottawa 18 ish months after the surgery. I meet the most wonderful Dr I've known. Man this guy knows his $hit. I learned SO much from this guy. We try different ways to get pregnant. Now this is where it gets graphic. I get injections everyday for 2 weeks (yes we stayed the whole 2 weeks in Ottawa). I also get blood work and an ultrasound every 2nd day. And then he sends us home and tells me what day to be intimate with my husband. Wow romantic. lol
I was also doing ovulation kits so I could know for sure what day was best. That method failed and we took a few months off.
Spring of 2006, Jason and I decide to try even harder. We meet with my wonderful Ottawa Dr again and decide to try artificial insemination. So this is where I get an injection in my belly everyday and get monitored by an ultrasound. When an egg is ready I then get an injection in my beautiful (icky) festively plump a$$ to make me ovulate.I gotta mention, that through these years of injections my wonderful husband gave me my needles everyday. He would come home from work to do it. He's my hero.
So July 2006 (around Canada day), the Dr decides I have a good egg. He said "I want you to inject yourself with the make yourself ovulate shot and in 2 days we will inseminate you with your husbands semen".
Here comes the good (maybe for not everyone...some of you won't want to hear this but like I said when I started my blog, I'm going to be raw and honest) part. How does this Dr get my husbands, well you know? OK, what I'm about to tell you is the truth and nothing but the truth. The Dr sends my husband (and told me I can HELP) into the "ROOM". Now I can still picture Jason and I laughing our bums off. OMG. We walk in, and see a "curly chair". U know the sexy kind of chairs that you don't lay on or sit on but can lean back on? It's black and leather. Once we get over the initial shock, we look around the room to scope it out. YUP there was a TV, and VHS movies to "help" him. AND some magazines that were so sticky you didn't dare touch it. (told you it was going to get graphic). Needless to say, the PROPS they provided for him were NOT used. LOL
Two days after that, I was inseminated with a needle sooooo long, like I'm talking 12 inches long. I had to "elevate" myself and wait 20 min's. We were then told "good luck, call me in 2 weeks".
WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO FOR 2 WEEKS? Can I breath? Fart? Walk? Eat? Move? OMG, I want this to work OH so bad. I swear I had "pregnancy symptoms" during that time. I was so sure it worked (I was also taking my temperature, to see if my temps were going to stay up).
About 13 days post insemination my temperature dropped and BOOM, started my cycle the next day. Gosh were we devastated. I called my DR asap. He said "you know what Rachelle, take a month off and I'll see you after your next cycle". I said "what can I do in the meantime? Can Jay and I try on our own"? He said "have fun and do it everyday". (yes my Dr was very blunt himself)
We went to dinner that night, it was July 17th 2006. We were at Pizza hut eating our sorrows away. Not aware of ANYTHING. The power goes out. We get a free meal (BONUS). We walk out to our city (well OK, so it's not much of a city, but bigger then a town) and see that a tornado and huge storm had struck. No, for real. Trees were down on the roads everywhere, roofs were blown off of houses, trees had fallen through roofs. And we saw NOTHING of it. We drove to my moms to pick up our dogs and were like "WTF just happened, and how come we were dumb and didn't know ANYTHING while eating". I will never forget that day. It's the day my dreams were shattered and our city got hit with one of our biggest storms ever.
So that month we did what the Dr ordered. We had "FUN". We went camping a lot with friends, and I even drank to feel good lol. BUT, BIG but, my wonderful husband had NOT one sip of alcohol the whole time we were doing fertility treatments. It had been like 3 months with no alcohol or HOT tubs. Our Dr told us every little tid bit that could help our situation. I could explain certain tid bits but I don't think my parents would want to read that much details LOL.
So then on August 24 (ish), I was 2 days away from my next cycle. I remember getting ready to make the call to my Dr and head back to Ottawa for 2 weeks. Jason that day said "why don't you buy a pregnancy test"? I'm like "why?". He said, "well just to make sure were not pregnant before going back to Ottawa". So I go to my favorite store in the whole world----WALMART( I should have shares in that store, cause I swear all our money goes there). I buy a box of 2 tests. The ones where it shows a + or a -.
I get home and put all my Walmart bags in my kitchen. I grab my test and run upstairs to "pee on a stick". Afterwards I lay it down on the counter in the bathroom and head downstairs to unpack my Walmart stuff. I sit on the stairs and think "ah maybe I should just go back upstairs and get it over with and move on with my life. Were going back to Ottawa and someday I will have my miracle baby".
As I grab the test, I see the most faint + EVER. I start shaking and crying. I grab the phone and call Jay screaming and crying. (now all my life with Jay I had envisioned telling him this way....to wrap up the test and give it to him as a gift). That went out the window haha. I scream "I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant". I hear silence. He then says "bebe, remember the last time we took that test and we thought u were but we didn't realize it had to be a plus sign?". I'm like "It's a plus sign". I'm like "OK I gotta go". I hung up the phone without letting him talk.
I call my cousin. She rushes over to see my test. She's like "it's a plus sign, it sure is". She says, I have another test at home that shows 2 lines. Come over". I'm like "OK but first I have to find my parents".
I find my parents in town and tell them in person. Phew, as long as they know then everyone else can know. Now I'm not the type to keep my pregnancies a secret during the first trimester. I know things can happen, but the way I saw it is that if I were to ever lose the baby, everyone would know I lost a baby and ask why I hadn't told them I was pregnant. My family and relatives are pretty close so, I figure why not enjoy it while I can.
So on to my cousins. I take her test. I had no pee left in me but it was enough to show 2 lines. OMG I could actually be pregnant. She says "why don't you go to the walk in clinic and confirm for sure". OK TWIST MY ARM LOL. It's confirmed. And my family Dr also confirmed through blood work.
I won't go through my pregnancy details, but here are pictures of me pregnant month per month with Arielle :)
So that's my story from beginning (ish) to end (ish) on my journey to motherhood.
I'll share a bit about Annabelle.
Now I was very content with one baby. I'm an only child and it's not that bad. I've gotten questions my whole life like "do you wish you had a sister or brother"? or "do you feel like you missed out being an only child"? Now of course having a brother or sister would of been nice, but I didn't know any differently. So, NO I don't feel like I missed out on anything. I had a lot of family and friends to keep me busy hehe.
May of 2009, I had really bad vertigo. I was very dizzy and didn't feel the greatest. That month my poor hubby didn't get many lovings. (sorry mom, dad and my in laws for being so graphic lol). But he did get ONE loving. A very nice one might I add, that gave us our baby, Annabelle. :)
Here is a monthly picture of me pregnant with Annabelle.
I hope you enjoyed my journey to motherhood. I get quite a few who asked for details on a regular basis and figured maybe I should write it out.
Now I've never thought highly of myself when it comes to my looks, but I must admit I never looked so good as to when I was pregnant with my girls.
Thanks for the support everyone.
So Jason and I met on the eve of his 19th birthday, September 24, 1999. Two months prior, I had turned 22. (I'm such a COUGAR EH?) Now I'm not going to explain our whole courtship, since you all know that we DID end up together. OK, well maybe just a little bit. Ah what the heck, I'll talk about it a little bit (ish).
I met him at my cousins house, and I remember going up to her and asking "who's the guy with the really blue eyes?". Well Jason and I got talking a lot that night. But he drank a lot and ended up getting sick. He then proceeded to pass out on the couch. (so attractive lol). So I slipped him my number and stuck it in his pocket.
The next day, after his baseball practice, he called me and told me that some of his friends were going out to the bar (since he IS 19....but had been drinking for quite a few years before haha) to celebrate. He asked me to come along. I asked my cousin to come but she didn't want to. I didn't really like being alone (well not along per se, but you know, with no one I know) but I went anyways.
That night he got SO hammered, that I drove him home (I was DD). He wanted to watch a movie. But right away he passed out, so I dragged (no I'm serious...I literally dragged him) into his bed and left. I thought to myself "um not too sure this guy is for me". Come to find out now (since we've been together so long), the next day he was a little upset that I didn't actually put blankets on him when I left. BIG BABY LOL
The next day he asked me out again. (really?! do I have too?) He said don't worry I will be SOBER. Hmmm, OK fine. And the rest is history (ish).
Fast forward to January 2002. We got married January 19th, 2002, and on our honeymoon we met up with another cousin of mine and went bowling. U know that little red line you can't cross when you bowl? Well I passed that line, and I didn't know this before but it's so darn slippery that I fell so hard on my back/right hip. Jason and my cousin laughed (I was kinda mad at that....but only because I was so hurt).
So we continue on with our honeymoon (which was a big huge road trip...from home to Niagara Falls and we would spend nights in different hotels and enjoy some great food) and I'm really sore through the whole trip. To this day I still have hip issues because of my fall. But this fall is what saved my life.
I come home and see my Dr for this pain. He said "well why don't we do an ultrasound". OK, sure, but not really understanding what an ultrasound will show if I hurt my right hip.
That week, after my ultrasound, I see my Dr again. He said "you have a cyst, so I'm going to refer you to an OBGYN." When I see this new Dr, he wants to do a laparoscopy. (you know the surgery that they go through ur belly button). So by March, i get my surgery.
All was good (or so I thought). By May of that year, I'm in SUCH pain, that my OBGYN sends me for another ultrasound. (I forgot to mention that my cyst is on the left ovary). He says my cyst is still there and he would like to do surgery again. WHAT? No way man, summer is coming and I DO NOT want another surgery before summer. So he says "OK, this Fall, we will do the surgery, enjoy your summer".
That was one of my worst decisions of my life. I suffered all summer with pain and by August I was in such pain that my OBGYN took me into emergency surgery. Not only did he have to do another laparoscopy, but he had to do a laparotomy (you know where they cut you like a c-section?). When I saw him post surgery (I was in hospital 3 days) he said, "Rachelle I will see you in 2 weeks times for a follow up".
I get out of hospital on Sunday (ish...give or take a day). By Tuesday his office calls. Now everyone knows that "NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS" right? His secretary said "Dr _____ wants to see you in his office on Thursday". I start shaking, and almost crying. I said, "this has to be bad news, please please please I'm begging can I come in today". She says "of course Rachelle".
So I bring Jason with me. And thank god I did. Because my Dr started telling me about the surgery and what this "cyst" was. He said "so the cyst I took out didn't look right, and I sent it out right away for a biopsy and". Right after that he mentions the word "cancer". Well that was it for me. I was gone. My mind, my eyes, and my hearing was so foggy that I almost passed out. At the end he said "you have an appointment booked for the cancer clinic in Sudbury".
Now, the few weeks that passed are pretty hazy. I also developed "costochondritis." Here is a link to what this is http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/costochondritis/DS00626 .From the stress of everything going on I was getting stress related health issues. On top of that, I didn't heal well down where they cut me either. I developed an infection in the area that lasts 2 years. YES 2 freaking years.
So I won't go into many details about going to Sudbury. But I had 2 appointments in Sudbury total. One with a radiologist who decided I won't need treatment but that I'm to get a "pap" test and ultrasounds every 3 months for while. And then I meet the mother of all Dr's for ovaries. He specializes in ONLY ovaries. My mom and dad (and jay of course) came to both my appointments.
So with that being said, my OBGYN says, that pregnancy may never happen. And he suggests attending a fertility center. He says there are great ones in Toronto or Ottawa. Well we chose Ottawa because I have relatives there who could "house" us while we do treatments.
I start going to Ottawa 18 ish months after the surgery. I meet the most wonderful Dr I've known. Man this guy knows his $hit. I learned SO much from this guy. We try different ways to get pregnant. Now this is where it gets graphic. I get injections everyday for 2 weeks (yes we stayed the whole 2 weeks in Ottawa). I also get blood work and an ultrasound every 2nd day. And then he sends us home and tells me what day to be intimate with my husband. Wow romantic. lol
I was also doing ovulation kits so I could know for sure what day was best. That method failed and we took a few months off.
Spring of 2006, Jason and I decide to try even harder. We meet with my wonderful Ottawa Dr again and decide to try artificial insemination. So this is where I get an injection in my belly everyday and get monitored by an ultrasound. When an egg is ready I then get an injection in my beautiful (icky) festively plump a$$ to make me ovulate.I gotta mention, that through these years of injections my wonderful husband gave me my needles everyday. He would come home from work to do it. He's my hero.
So July 2006 (around Canada day), the Dr decides I have a good egg. He said "I want you to inject yourself with the make yourself ovulate shot and in 2 days we will inseminate you with your husbands semen".
Here comes the good (maybe for not everyone...some of you won't want to hear this but like I said when I started my blog, I'm going to be raw and honest) part. How does this Dr get my husbands, well you know? OK, what I'm about to tell you is the truth and nothing but the truth. The Dr sends my husband (and told me I can HELP) into the "ROOM". Now I can still picture Jason and I laughing our bums off. OMG. We walk in, and see a "curly chair". U know the sexy kind of chairs that you don't lay on or sit on but can lean back on? It's black and leather. Once we get over the initial shock, we look around the room to scope it out. YUP there was a TV, and VHS movies to "help" him. AND some magazines that were so sticky you didn't dare touch it. (told you it was going to get graphic). Needless to say, the PROPS they provided for him were NOT used. LOL
Two days after that, I was inseminated with a needle sooooo long, like I'm talking 12 inches long. I had to "elevate" myself and wait 20 min's. We were then told "good luck, call me in 2 weeks".
WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO FOR 2 WEEKS? Can I breath? Fart? Walk? Eat? Move? OMG, I want this to work OH so bad. I swear I had "pregnancy symptoms" during that time. I was so sure it worked (I was also taking my temperature, to see if my temps were going to stay up).
About 13 days post insemination my temperature dropped and BOOM, started my cycle the next day. Gosh were we devastated. I called my DR asap. He said "you know what Rachelle, take a month off and I'll see you after your next cycle". I said "what can I do in the meantime? Can Jay and I try on our own"? He said "have fun and do it everyday". (yes my Dr was very blunt himself)
We went to dinner that night, it was July 17th 2006. We were at Pizza hut eating our sorrows away. Not aware of ANYTHING. The power goes out. We get a free meal (BONUS). We walk out to our city (well OK, so it's not much of a city, but bigger then a town) and see that a tornado and huge storm had struck. No, for real. Trees were down on the roads everywhere, roofs were blown off of houses, trees had fallen through roofs. And we saw NOTHING of it. We drove to my moms to pick up our dogs and were like "WTF just happened, and how come we were dumb and didn't know ANYTHING while eating". I will never forget that day. It's the day my dreams were shattered and our city got hit with one of our biggest storms ever.
So that month we did what the Dr ordered. We had "FUN". We went camping a lot with friends, and I even drank to feel good lol. BUT, BIG but, my wonderful husband had NOT one sip of alcohol the whole time we were doing fertility treatments. It had been like 3 months with no alcohol or HOT tubs. Our Dr told us every little tid bit that could help our situation. I could explain certain tid bits but I don't think my parents would want to read that much details LOL.
So then on August 24 (ish), I was 2 days away from my next cycle. I remember getting ready to make the call to my Dr and head back to Ottawa for 2 weeks. Jason that day said "why don't you buy a pregnancy test"? I'm like "why?". He said, "well just to make sure were not pregnant before going back to Ottawa". So I go to my favorite store in the whole world----WALMART( I should have shares in that store, cause I swear all our money goes there). I buy a box of 2 tests. The ones where it shows a + or a -.
I get home and put all my Walmart bags in my kitchen. I grab my test and run upstairs to "pee on a stick". Afterwards I lay it down on the counter in the bathroom and head downstairs to unpack my Walmart stuff. I sit on the stairs and think "ah maybe I should just go back upstairs and get it over with and move on with my life. Were going back to Ottawa and someday I will have my miracle baby".
As I grab the test, I see the most faint + EVER. I start shaking and crying. I grab the phone and call Jay screaming and crying. (now all my life with Jay I had envisioned telling him this way....to wrap up the test and give it to him as a gift). That went out the window haha. I scream "I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant". I hear silence. He then says "bebe, remember the last time we took that test and we thought u were but we didn't realize it had to be a plus sign?". I'm like "It's a plus sign". I'm like "OK I gotta go". I hung up the phone without letting him talk.
here is the test that showed the most faint + (the bottom test of the first picture is the first one i took, and you can tell how faint it really is)
But look at the tests when I was a few days pregnant
I call my cousin. She rushes over to see my test. She's like "it's a plus sign, it sure is". She says, I have another test at home that shows 2 lines. Come over". I'm like "OK but first I have to find my parents".
I find my parents in town and tell them in person. Phew, as long as they know then everyone else can know. Now I'm not the type to keep my pregnancies a secret during the first trimester. I know things can happen, but the way I saw it is that if I were to ever lose the baby, everyone would know I lost a baby and ask why I hadn't told them I was pregnant. My family and relatives are pretty close so, I figure why not enjoy it while I can.
So on to my cousins. I take her test. I had no pee left in me but it was enough to show 2 lines. OMG I could actually be pregnant. She says "why don't you go to the walk in clinic and confirm for sure". OK TWIST MY ARM LOL. It's confirmed. And my family Dr also confirmed through blood work.
I won't go through my pregnancy details, but here are pictures of me pregnant month per month with Arielle :)
4 months
5 months
6 months
7 months
8 months
9 months
So that's my story from beginning (ish) to end (ish) on my journey to motherhood.
I'll share a bit about Annabelle.
Now I was very content with one baby. I'm an only child and it's not that bad. I've gotten questions my whole life like "do you wish you had a sister or brother"? or "do you feel like you missed out being an only child"? Now of course having a brother or sister would of been nice, but I didn't know any differently. So, NO I don't feel like I missed out on anything. I had a lot of family and friends to keep me busy hehe.
May of 2009, I had really bad vertigo. I was very dizzy and didn't feel the greatest. That month my poor hubby didn't get many lovings. (sorry mom, dad and my in laws for being so graphic lol). But he did get ONE loving. A very nice one might I add, that gave us our baby, Annabelle. :)
Here is the new (at the time) DIGITAL tests I took for Annbelle hehe
Here is a monthly picture of me pregnant with Annabelle.
3 months
4 months
5 months
6 months
7 months
8 months
9 months
I hope you enjoyed my journey to motherhood. I get quite a few who asked for details on a regular basis and figured maybe I should write it out.
Now I've never thought highly of myself when it comes to my looks, but I must admit I never looked so good as to when I was pregnant with my girls.
Thanks for the support everyone.
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