What to me is silent suffering? Or "invisible" diseases?
When a person has a certain type of autoimmune disease like lupus. (and I know there are a LOT of types of autoimmune diseases)
Last fall I was diagnosed with Lupus.
Lupus: A chronic inflammatory condition caused by an autoimmune disease. An autoimmune disease occurs when the body's tissues are attacked by its own immune system. Patients with lupus have unusual antibodies in their blood that are targeted against their own body tissues.
For years I've suffered with symptoms that have been painful for me. Unknown rashes (i still suffer from), hair loss (which i suffer from big time....even lately people have commented on my hair loss), and very painful joints. I also get very fatigued at weird times.
I would say that it dates back to my Ottawa University days, when I was 19 years of age. I used to get over the nose and cheek bones rashes and I never really knew why.
Over the years, as many friends and family members know, I haven't felt the greatest. And the reason for me to write this entry is to show people that just because you "can't see" pain, it doesn't mean that it's IN OUR HEAD. (no this isn't geared to anyone in particular, it's a general statement for everyone who judges people that think we fake not feeling well, and even though we may not LOOK sick, it doesn't mean we're not suffering)
I don't know how many times in my life I've been told that it's all in my head. That I can't be as sick as i claim to be. I'm sorry but until you can become me (and that won't ever happen) you shouldn't judge how I, Rachelle Petitclerc feels. (yeah yeah I know I'm being dramatic here) I've also been told so many times "what? Your sick? AGAIN? Your always sick". If it was my choice I would NEVER be sick. I didn't choose to be sick. I was born this way I guess.
I've been told "well you have a beautiful, supportive family so be thankful for what you've got. A lot of people wishes they had what you've got.". OK, i do have the perfect family. And I'm thankful daily that I was able to have a beautiful family with Jason. I have a wonderful husband who truly is my best friend. He supports me on ANYTHING and EVERYTHING I've been through. But that doesn't change that I'm ill, and that I often don't feel well, or I'm fatigued and unable to do certain things.
I get days that my joints hurt to much that it's hard for me to even walk because my toes hurt so bad. I don't always talk about it with people because I'm sure people get tired of hearing about my "bobos". Jason is someone who doesn't get annoyed of me and really does listen to me. As I do to him. When you truly love someone you don't judge and you accept that person full heartedly.
A few days ago someone commented on my thin hair. They said "wow you have such thin hair on the top of your head". I have been told that so many times that i can't count that high. The only way I could get more hair is to be on birth control pill. Last summer I started taking it. My hair started to grow back so beautifully and so much more thicker. But there was a cost to that. And that was the cost of a possible stroke.
Once I started the birth control pill, i developed aura migraines. And that poses a huge risk. Being on birth control pill and aura migraines raises the chances of having a stroke. So i had a choice. Stay on birth control, and have beautiful hair with the possibility of a stroke OR get off birth control and lose may hair. And really there is only one answer. GET OFF THE PILL. I can live with no hair, but having a stroke isn't something I would like to deal with. (duh).
I do have a double whammy against me when it comes to my hair loss. I have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and that is a huge cause for hair loss. So add lupus AND PCOS and I'm kinda screwed in my hair department.
My hair and skin DR suggested getting a hair transplant in Toronto. But if I did go through with it chances are I'd still lose my hair. My health issues where my hair is concerned aren't going to go away, therefor I'd be wasting my money on a hair transplant.
The reason I wanted to write this entry isn't to get pity. It is to help people understand that just because things aren't necessarily seen, our pain isn't in our heads. We suffer just as much. And it's not always physically. Hair loss isn't fun for anyone, especially a woman who's still young (ish) and in her prime ( lol, i know that was funny eh? In my prime LOL)
It took me years to figure out why I've been so sick in my life. And I'm never going to be out of the woods with pain. But support is all I look for. Don't question me when I say I'm not feeling well because i promise I'm not lying.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
What some friends suggested...
I've asked a few friends to suggest something to blog about...to be honest, i haven't felt like blogging lately. I have SO many topics I want to write about and these topics are SUCH huge things for me, that I don't want to open that part of my life just yet....so, here are a few topics I've been suggested....
1. BRIE....yes THAT STINKY CHEESE
This post about BRIE will be short and stinky, er i mean sweet
HAHA
So it all started at my cousin's Christmas party (pre kids). We had a get together and we all brought something for fun.
Someone thought it would be fun to bring brie. I had never had it, and thought it "may" be good.
They put it in the oven and after a while I thought the whole house smelled like semen. (YES SEMEN). I was like "WTF IS THAT SMELL"?
So to make a short story shorter, I never did try that stinky cheese. :)
I have a cousin named Josee, who lives in Ottawa. She loves brie so much that it must come out her pores...when I see her, I ask her to please please please put a yummy smelling perfume on. I don't want to hug her and say "Gosh Josee, you smell like semen" hahahahah
2. PARENTING STYLES
So there are 3 types of parenting styles.
Authoritarian
Permissive
Democratic
Authoritarian parents always try to be in control and exert their control on the children. These parents set strict rules to try to keep order, and they usually do this without much expression of warmth and affection. They attempt to set strict standards of conduct and are usually very critical of children for not meeting those standards. They tell children what to do, they try to make them obey and they usually do not provide children with choices or options.
Authoritarian parents don't explain why they want their children to do things. If a child questions a rule or command, the parent might answer, "Because I said so." Parents tend to focus on bad behavior, rather than positive behavior, and children are scolded or punished, often harshly, for not following the rules.
Children with authoritarian parents usually do not learn to think for themselves and understand why the parent is requiring certain behaviors.
Permissive parents give up most control to their children. Parents make few, if any, rules, and the rules that they make are usually not consistently enforced. They don't want to be tied down to routines. They want their children to feel free. They do not set clear boundaries or expectations for their children's behavior and tend to accept in a warm and loving way, however the child behaves.
Permissive parents give children as many choices as possible, even when the child is not capable of making good choices. They tend to accept a child's behavior, good or bad, and make no comment about whether it is beneficial or not. They may feel unable to change misbehavior, or they choose not to get involved.
Democratic parents help children learn to be responsible for themselves and to think about the consequences of their behavior. Parents do this by providing clear, reasonable expectations for their children and explanations for why they expect their children to behave in a particular manner. They monitor their children's behavior to make sure that they follow through on rules and expectations. They do this in a warm and loving manner. They often, "try to catch their children being good" and reinforcing the good behavior, rather than focusing on the bad.
For example, a child who leaves her toys on a staircase may be told not to do this because, "Someone could trip on them and get hurt and the toy might be damaged." As children mature, parents involve children in making rules and doing chores: "Who will mop the kitchen floor, and who will carry out the trash?"
Parents who have a democratic style give choices based on a child's ability. For a toddler, the choice may be "red shirt or striped shirt?" For an older child, the choice might be "apple, orange or banana?" Parents guide children's behavior by teaching, not punishing. "You threw your truck at Mindy. That hurt her. We're putting your truck away until you can play with it safely."
So, my friends/family/acquaintances, what is YOUR parent style?
For me, I'm the Democratic. I think giving kids choices is a good option. Now, i DO believe in time outs. I think a child who does something their not supposed to (hit/kick/push----you get the idea) needs to sit out. I think a time out is hard for young kids, because they get to sit out and watch the others have fun while their "reflecting" on things. (i really don't think they reflect that much on WHAT they did, but more on "oh i wish i was playing right now".)
Authoritarian is NOT my style. I've known/know some people who are like that.
Wait a minute, I'm guilty of saying "because I said so". BUT I think that's something a LOT of us do, but that doesn't mean we're "drill sargents". I also admit my oldest daughter does get punished for things (like I'll take away her Mickey mouse stuff), but i wouldn't say it's in a negative behavior. If i ask her to please stop doing what she's not supposed to be doing and i have to say it more then once or twice, something else needs to be done.
I've met people who are VERY critical of children who don't follow certain rules and to me, it's "kids will be kids". We've ALL been there. YES ALL OF US. So now that we've "grown up" (haha, don't think I've grown up yet...but that's a whole OTHER entry) it's our turn to try and raise our children the "right way". But the right way for me, isn't the same as you. Yes I'm talking about YOU :) hehe.
Permissive is also a type of parenting that I've seen people do. And that's OK, but for me I don't want my children to take over my household. My children will NOT RULE THE ROOST. (although i think they try really hard to do that). I think if you let your children do whatever they want at any given time, your in BIG trouble in the future. But what do I know. I'm not in the future yet.
*what i wrote up there is only my opinion and does not affect the opinions of anyone else*
3. HORMONAL MOTHER NATURE
Now, most men would probably say that "mother nature" is woman right?
We all know our spring has been VERY "hormonal". Hot, cold, snow, rain. (often all in one day).
And it does affect us in every way. One day it can be so nice outside, and we get our overdose of vitamin D. But the next day when we get dumped on with a foot of snow, we think "WTF, I got a face burn yesterday being outside all day and today it snowed so much I had to take out our kids snowsuits".
I guess I could get on the topic of hormones in general, but I won't get into it THAT much.
In a nutshell, our spring so far has been so hormonal it deserves to be on hormone therapy, until "it" decides which way to swing....
4. HOW TO MAKE THE PERFECT ROAST BEEF
Well, this is my favorite meal to eat at home. (next to home made pizza, ceasar salad, nachos, tacos, fajitas)
a) pt your roast in a pan
b) poke holes all over it
c) put fresh peeled (whole) garlic bulbs inside the holes
d) peel potatoes and cut them in half if their big or keep them whole if their small or baby potatoes
e) peel carrots (don't use baby carrots, they don't taste as good)
f) ALWAYS season everything...ALWAYS
g) put Italian seasoning from pampered chef , southwestern seasoning from pampered chef, and garlic powder
h) put these seasonings ALL over your roast/potatoes and carrots
g) peel about 6 (or more, i really put like 10) garlic bulbs and add them around the roast
h) add only and i repeat ONLY one cup of water into the pan
i) heat your oven to 350
j) it will be ready within 1 1/2 hours to 2 hours (depending how you like it...i like it WELL DONE)
k) when it's all ready, add another cup of water for about 5 ish minutes to make natural juices at the bottom that will be your "gravy" (don't need to add any cornstarch, the natural juices at bottom is sooooo freking good as is)
What NOT to do with a roast? NOT SURE but the hospital staff (i know, i know it's shipped) need to learn how to make yummy beef and not rubber beef LOL
1. BRIE....yes THAT STINKY CHEESE
This post about BRIE will be short and stinky, er i mean sweet
HAHA
So it all started at my cousin's Christmas party (pre kids). We had a get together and we all brought something for fun.
Someone thought it would be fun to bring brie. I had never had it, and thought it "may" be good.
They put it in the oven and after a while I thought the whole house smelled like semen. (YES SEMEN). I was like "WTF IS THAT SMELL"?
So to make a short story shorter, I never did try that stinky cheese. :)
I have a cousin named Josee, who lives in Ottawa. She loves brie so much that it must come out her pores...when I see her, I ask her to please please please put a yummy smelling perfume on. I don't want to hug her and say "Gosh Josee, you smell like semen" hahahahah
2. PARENTING STYLES
So there are 3 types of parenting styles.
Authoritarian
Permissive
Democratic
Authoritarian parents always try to be in control and exert their control on the children. These parents set strict rules to try to keep order, and they usually do this without much expression of warmth and affection. They attempt to set strict standards of conduct and are usually very critical of children for not meeting those standards. They tell children what to do, they try to make them obey and they usually do not provide children with choices or options.
Authoritarian parents don't explain why they want their children to do things. If a child questions a rule or command, the parent might answer, "Because I said so." Parents tend to focus on bad behavior, rather than positive behavior, and children are scolded or punished, often harshly, for not following the rules.
Children with authoritarian parents usually do not learn to think for themselves and understand why the parent is requiring certain behaviors.
Permissive parents give up most control to their children. Parents make few, if any, rules, and the rules that they make are usually not consistently enforced. They don't want to be tied down to routines. They want their children to feel free. They do not set clear boundaries or expectations for their children's behavior and tend to accept in a warm and loving way, however the child behaves.
Permissive parents give children as many choices as possible, even when the child is not capable of making good choices. They tend to accept a child's behavior, good or bad, and make no comment about whether it is beneficial or not. They may feel unable to change misbehavior, or they choose not to get involved.
Democratic parents help children learn to be responsible for themselves and to think about the consequences of their behavior. Parents do this by providing clear, reasonable expectations for their children and explanations for why they expect their children to behave in a particular manner. They monitor their children's behavior to make sure that they follow through on rules and expectations. They do this in a warm and loving manner. They often, "try to catch their children being good" and reinforcing the good behavior, rather than focusing on the bad.
For example, a child who leaves her toys on a staircase may be told not to do this because, "Someone could trip on them and get hurt and the toy might be damaged." As children mature, parents involve children in making rules and doing chores: "Who will mop the kitchen floor, and who will carry out the trash?"
Parents who have a democratic style give choices based on a child's ability. For a toddler, the choice may be "red shirt or striped shirt?" For an older child, the choice might be "apple, orange or banana?" Parents guide children's behavior by teaching, not punishing. "You threw your truck at Mindy. That hurt her. We're putting your truck away until you can play with it safely."
And a little humour ;)
So, my friends/family/acquaintances, what is YOUR parent style?
For me, I'm the Democratic. I think giving kids choices is a good option. Now, i DO believe in time outs. I think a child who does something their not supposed to (hit/kick/push----you get the idea) needs to sit out. I think a time out is hard for young kids, because they get to sit out and watch the others have fun while their "reflecting" on things. (i really don't think they reflect that much on WHAT they did, but more on "oh i wish i was playing right now".)
Authoritarian is NOT my style. I've known/know some people who are like that.
Wait a minute, I'm guilty of saying "because I said so". BUT I think that's something a LOT of us do, but that doesn't mean we're "drill sargents". I also admit my oldest daughter does get punished for things (like I'll take away her Mickey mouse stuff), but i wouldn't say it's in a negative behavior. If i ask her to please stop doing what she's not supposed to be doing and i have to say it more then once or twice, something else needs to be done.
I've met people who are VERY critical of children who don't follow certain rules and to me, it's "kids will be kids". We've ALL been there. YES ALL OF US. So now that we've "grown up" (haha, don't think I've grown up yet...but that's a whole OTHER entry) it's our turn to try and raise our children the "right way". But the right way for me, isn't the same as you. Yes I'm talking about YOU :) hehe.
Permissive is also a type of parenting that I've seen people do. And that's OK, but for me I don't want my children to take over my household. My children will NOT RULE THE ROOST. (although i think they try really hard to do that). I think if you let your children do whatever they want at any given time, your in BIG trouble in the future. But what do I know. I'm not in the future yet.
*what i wrote up there is only my opinion and does not affect the opinions of anyone else*
3. HORMONAL MOTHER NATURE
Now, most men would probably say that "mother nature" is woman right?
We all know our spring has been VERY "hormonal". Hot, cold, snow, rain. (often all in one day).
And it does affect us in every way. One day it can be so nice outside, and we get our overdose of vitamin D. But the next day when we get dumped on with a foot of snow, we think "WTF, I got a face burn yesterday being outside all day and today it snowed so much I had to take out our kids snowsuits".
I guess I could get on the topic of hormones in general, but I won't get into it THAT much.
In a nutshell, our spring so far has been so hormonal it deserves to be on hormone therapy, until "it" decides which way to swing....
a little chuckle at what our world has been through this past year so far
4. HOW TO MAKE THE PERFECT ROAST BEEF
Well, this is my favorite meal to eat at home. (next to home made pizza, ceasar salad, nachos, tacos, fajitas)
a) pt your roast in a pan
b) poke holes all over it
c) put fresh peeled (whole) garlic bulbs inside the holes
d) peel potatoes and cut them in half if their big or keep them whole if their small or baby potatoes
e) peel carrots (don't use baby carrots, they don't taste as good)
f) ALWAYS season everything...ALWAYS
g) put Italian seasoning from pampered chef , southwestern seasoning from pampered chef, and garlic powder
h) put these seasonings ALL over your roast/potatoes and carrots
g) peel about 6 (or more, i really put like 10) garlic bulbs and add them around the roast
h) add only and i repeat ONLY one cup of water into the pan
i) heat your oven to 350
j) it will be ready within 1 1/2 hours to 2 hours (depending how you like it...i like it WELL DONE)
k) when it's all ready, add another cup of water for about 5 ish minutes to make natural juices at the bottom that will be your "gravy" (don't need to add any cornstarch, the natural juices at bottom is sooooo freking good as is)
VOILA
What NOT to do with a roast? NOT SURE but the hospital staff (i know, i know it's shipped) need to learn how to make yummy beef and not rubber beef LOL
So in the next few days, I'm going to try reallllllly hard (haha can't be that hard for me eh?) to take pics of my day as i "live" it. Wouldn't it be NEATER if i take a video of my day as i see it? I could take my SONY cam and video tape my whole day. hmmmm.... *my thinking cap is on AGAIN*
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
My journey and struggles to mommyhood
So, a few people lately have asked me to explain the hardship I endured while trying to become a mommy. So I've decided to blog about it. I'm warning you, it's going to be long, and graphic.
So Jason and I met on the eve of his 19th birthday, September 24, 1999. Two months prior, I had turned 22. (I'm such a COUGAR EH?) Now I'm not going to explain our whole courtship, since you all know that we DID end up together. OK, well maybe just a little bit. Ah what the heck, I'll talk about it a little bit (ish).
I met him at my cousins house, and I remember going up to her and asking "who's the guy with the really blue eyes?". Well Jason and I got talking a lot that night. But he drank a lot and ended up getting sick. He then proceeded to pass out on the couch. (so attractive lol). So I slipped him my number and stuck it in his pocket.
The next day, after his baseball practice, he called me and told me that some of his friends were going out to the bar (since he IS 19....but had been drinking for quite a few years before haha) to celebrate. He asked me to come along. I asked my cousin to come but she didn't want to. I didn't really like being alone (well not along per se, but you know, with no one I know) but I went anyways.
That night he got SO hammered, that I drove him home (I was DD). He wanted to watch a movie. But right away he passed out, so I dragged (no I'm serious...I literally dragged him) into his bed and left. I thought to myself "um not too sure this guy is for me". Come to find out now (since we've been together so long), the next day he was a little upset that I didn't actually put blankets on him when I left. BIG BABY LOL
The next day he asked me out again. (really?! do I have too?) He said don't worry I will be SOBER. Hmmm, OK fine. And the rest is history (ish).
Fast forward to January 2002. We got married January 19th, 2002, and on our honeymoon we met up with another cousin of mine and went bowling. U know that little red line you can't cross when you bowl? Well I passed that line, and I didn't know this before but it's so darn slippery that I fell so hard on my back/right hip. Jason and my cousin laughed (I was kinda mad at that....but only because I was so hurt).
So we continue on with our honeymoon (which was a big huge road trip...from home to Niagara Falls and we would spend nights in different hotels and enjoy some great food) and I'm really sore through the whole trip. To this day I still have hip issues because of my fall. But this fall is what saved my life.
I come home and see my Dr for this pain. He said "well why don't we do an ultrasound". OK, sure, but not really understanding what an ultrasound will show if I hurt my right hip.
That week, after my ultrasound, I see my Dr again. He said "you have a cyst, so I'm going to refer you to an OBGYN." When I see this new Dr, he wants to do a laparoscopy. (you know the surgery that they go through ur belly button). So by March, i get my surgery.
All was good (or so I thought). By May of that year, I'm in SUCH pain, that my OBGYN sends me for another ultrasound. (I forgot to mention that my cyst is on the left ovary). He says my cyst is still there and he would like to do surgery again. WHAT? No way man, summer is coming and I DO NOT want another surgery before summer. So he says "OK, this Fall, we will do the surgery, enjoy your summer".
That was one of my worst decisions of my life. I suffered all summer with pain and by August I was in such pain that my OBGYN took me into emergency surgery. Not only did he have to do another laparoscopy, but he had to do a laparotomy (you know where they cut you like a c-section?). When I saw him post surgery (I was in hospital 3 days) he said, "Rachelle I will see you in 2 weeks times for a follow up".
I get out of hospital on Sunday (ish...give or take a day). By Tuesday his office calls. Now everyone knows that "NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS" right? His secretary said "Dr _____ wants to see you in his office on Thursday". I start shaking, and almost crying. I said, "this has to be bad news, please please please I'm begging can I come in today". She says "of course Rachelle".
So I bring Jason with me. And thank god I did. Because my Dr started telling me about the surgery and what this "cyst" was. He said "so the cyst I took out didn't look right, and I sent it out right away for a biopsy and". Right after that he mentions the word "cancer". Well that was it for me. I was gone. My mind, my eyes, and my hearing was so foggy that I almost passed out. At the end he said "you have an appointment booked for the cancer clinic in Sudbury".
Now, the few weeks that passed are pretty hazy. I also developed "costochondritis." Here is a link to what this is http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/costochondritis/DS00626 .From the stress of everything going on I was getting stress related health issues. On top of that, I didn't heal well down where they cut me either. I developed an infection in the area that lasts 2 years. YES 2 freaking years.
So I won't go into many details about going to Sudbury. But I had 2 appointments in Sudbury total. One with a radiologist who decided I won't need treatment but that I'm to get a "pap" test and ultrasounds every 3 months for while. And then I meet the mother of all Dr's for ovaries. He specializes in ONLY ovaries. My mom and dad (and jay of course) came to both my appointments.
So with that being said, my OBGYN says, that pregnancy may never happen. And he suggests attending a fertility center. He says there are great ones in Toronto or Ottawa. Well we chose Ottawa because I have relatives there who could "house" us while we do treatments.
I start going to Ottawa 18 ish months after the surgery. I meet the most wonderful Dr I've known. Man this guy knows his $hit. I learned SO much from this guy. We try different ways to get pregnant. Now this is where it gets graphic. I get injections everyday for 2 weeks (yes we stayed the whole 2 weeks in Ottawa). I also get blood work and an ultrasound every 2nd day. And then he sends us home and tells me what day to be intimate with my husband. Wow romantic. lol
I was also doing ovulation kits so I could know for sure what day was best. That method failed and we took a few months off.
Spring of 2006, Jason and I decide to try even harder. We meet with my wonderful Ottawa Dr again and decide to try artificial insemination. So this is where I get an injection in my belly everyday and get monitored by an ultrasound. When an egg is ready I then get an injection in my beautiful (icky) festively plump a$$ to make me ovulate.I gotta mention, that through these years of injections my wonderful husband gave me my needles everyday. He would come home from work to do it. He's my hero.
So July 2006 (around Canada day), the Dr decides I have a good egg. He said "I want you to inject yourself with the make yourself ovulate shot and in 2 days we will inseminate you with your husbands semen".
Here comes the good (maybe for not everyone...some of you won't want to hear this but like I said when I started my blog, I'm going to be raw and honest) part. How does this Dr get my husbands, well you know? OK, what I'm about to tell you is the truth and nothing but the truth. The Dr sends my husband (and told me I can HELP) into the "ROOM". Now I can still picture Jason and I laughing our bums off. OMG. We walk in, and see a "curly chair". U know the sexy kind of chairs that you don't lay on or sit on but can lean back on? It's black and leather. Once we get over the initial shock, we look around the room to scope it out. YUP there was a TV, and VHS movies to "help" him. AND some magazines that were so sticky you didn't dare touch it. (told you it was going to get graphic). Needless to say, the PROPS they provided for him were NOT used. LOL
Two days after that, I was inseminated with a needle sooooo long, like I'm talking 12 inches long. I had to "elevate" myself and wait 20 min's. We were then told "good luck, call me in 2 weeks".
WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO FOR 2 WEEKS? Can I breath? Fart? Walk? Eat? Move? OMG, I want this to work OH so bad. I swear I had "pregnancy symptoms" during that time. I was so sure it worked (I was also taking my temperature, to see if my temps were going to stay up).
About 13 days post insemination my temperature dropped and BOOM, started my cycle the next day. Gosh were we devastated. I called my DR asap. He said "you know what Rachelle, take a month off and I'll see you after your next cycle". I said "what can I do in the meantime? Can Jay and I try on our own"? He said "have fun and do it everyday". (yes my Dr was very blunt himself)
We went to dinner that night, it was July 17th 2006. We were at Pizza hut eating our sorrows away. Not aware of ANYTHING. The power goes out. We get a free meal (BONUS). We walk out to our city (well OK, so it's not much of a city, but bigger then a town) and see that a tornado and huge storm had struck. No, for real. Trees were down on the roads everywhere, roofs were blown off of houses, trees had fallen through roofs. And we saw NOTHING of it. We drove to my moms to pick up our dogs and were like "WTF just happened, and how come we were dumb and didn't know ANYTHING while eating". I will never forget that day. It's the day my dreams were shattered and our city got hit with one of our biggest storms ever.
So that month we did what the Dr ordered. We had "FUN". We went camping a lot with friends, and I even drank to feel good lol. BUT, BIG but, my wonderful husband had NOT one sip of alcohol the whole time we were doing fertility treatments. It had been like 3 months with no alcohol or HOT tubs. Our Dr told us every little tid bit that could help our situation. I could explain certain tid bits but I don't think my parents would want to read that much details LOL.
So then on August 24 (ish), I was 2 days away from my next cycle. I remember getting ready to make the call to my Dr and head back to Ottawa for 2 weeks. Jason that day said "why don't you buy a pregnancy test"? I'm like "why?". He said, "well just to make sure were not pregnant before going back to Ottawa". So I go to my favorite store in the whole world----WALMART( I should have shares in that store, cause I swear all our money goes there). I buy a box of 2 tests. The ones where it shows a + or a -.
I get home and put all my Walmart bags in my kitchen. I grab my test and run upstairs to "pee on a stick". Afterwards I lay it down on the counter in the bathroom and head downstairs to unpack my Walmart stuff. I sit on the stairs and think "ah maybe I should just go back upstairs and get it over with and move on with my life. Were going back to Ottawa and someday I will have my miracle baby".
As I grab the test, I see the most faint + EVER. I start shaking and crying. I grab the phone and call Jay screaming and crying. (now all my life with Jay I had envisioned telling him this way....to wrap up the test and give it to him as a gift). That went out the window haha. I scream "I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant". I hear silence. He then says "bebe, remember the last time we took that test and we thought u were but we didn't realize it had to be a plus sign?". I'm like "It's a plus sign". I'm like "OK I gotta go". I hung up the phone without letting him talk.
I call my cousin. She rushes over to see my test. She's like "it's a plus sign, it sure is". She says, I have another test at home that shows 2 lines. Come over". I'm like "OK but first I have to find my parents".
I find my parents in town and tell them in person. Phew, as long as they know then everyone else can know. Now I'm not the type to keep my pregnancies a secret during the first trimester. I know things can happen, but the way I saw it is that if I were to ever lose the baby, everyone would know I lost a baby and ask why I hadn't told them I was pregnant. My family and relatives are pretty close so, I figure why not enjoy it while I can.
So on to my cousins. I take her test. I had no pee left in me but it was enough to show 2 lines. OMG I could actually be pregnant. She says "why don't you go to the walk in clinic and confirm for sure". OK TWIST MY ARM LOL. It's confirmed. And my family Dr also confirmed through blood work.
I won't go through my pregnancy details, but here are pictures of me pregnant month per month with Arielle :)
So that's my story from beginning (ish) to end (ish) on my journey to motherhood.
I'll share a bit about Annabelle.
Now I was very content with one baby. I'm an only child and it's not that bad. I've gotten questions my whole life like "do you wish you had a sister or brother"? or "do you feel like you missed out being an only child"? Now of course having a brother or sister would of been nice, but I didn't know any differently. So, NO I don't feel like I missed out on anything. I had a lot of family and friends to keep me busy hehe.
May of 2009, I had really bad vertigo. I was very dizzy and didn't feel the greatest. That month my poor hubby didn't get many lovings. (sorry mom, dad and my in laws for being so graphic lol). But he did get ONE loving. A very nice one might I add, that gave us our baby, Annabelle. :)
Here is a monthly picture of me pregnant with Annabelle.
I hope you enjoyed my journey to motherhood. I get quite a few who asked for details on a regular basis and figured maybe I should write it out.
Now I've never thought highly of myself when it comes to my looks, but I must admit I never looked so good as to when I was pregnant with my girls.
Thanks for the support everyone.
So Jason and I met on the eve of his 19th birthday, September 24, 1999. Two months prior, I had turned 22. (I'm such a COUGAR EH?) Now I'm not going to explain our whole courtship, since you all know that we DID end up together. OK, well maybe just a little bit. Ah what the heck, I'll talk about it a little bit (ish).
I met him at my cousins house, and I remember going up to her and asking "who's the guy with the really blue eyes?". Well Jason and I got talking a lot that night. But he drank a lot and ended up getting sick. He then proceeded to pass out on the couch. (so attractive lol). So I slipped him my number and stuck it in his pocket.
The next day, after his baseball practice, he called me and told me that some of his friends were going out to the bar (since he IS 19....but had been drinking for quite a few years before haha) to celebrate. He asked me to come along. I asked my cousin to come but she didn't want to. I didn't really like being alone (well not along per se, but you know, with no one I know) but I went anyways.
That night he got SO hammered, that I drove him home (I was DD). He wanted to watch a movie. But right away he passed out, so I dragged (no I'm serious...I literally dragged him) into his bed and left. I thought to myself "um not too sure this guy is for me". Come to find out now (since we've been together so long), the next day he was a little upset that I didn't actually put blankets on him when I left. BIG BABY LOL
The next day he asked me out again. (really?! do I have too?) He said don't worry I will be SOBER. Hmmm, OK fine. And the rest is history (ish).
Fast forward to January 2002. We got married January 19th, 2002, and on our honeymoon we met up with another cousin of mine and went bowling. U know that little red line you can't cross when you bowl? Well I passed that line, and I didn't know this before but it's so darn slippery that I fell so hard on my back/right hip. Jason and my cousin laughed (I was kinda mad at that....but only because I was so hurt).
So we continue on with our honeymoon (which was a big huge road trip...from home to Niagara Falls and we would spend nights in different hotels and enjoy some great food) and I'm really sore through the whole trip. To this day I still have hip issues because of my fall. But this fall is what saved my life.
I come home and see my Dr for this pain. He said "well why don't we do an ultrasound". OK, sure, but not really understanding what an ultrasound will show if I hurt my right hip.
That week, after my ultrasound, I see my Dr again. He said "you have a cyst, so I'm going to refer you to an OBGYN." When I see this new Dr, he wants to do a laparoscopy. (you know the surgery that they go through ur belly button). So by March, i get my surgery.
All was good (or so I thought). By May of that year, I'm in SUCH pain, that my OBGYN sends me for another ultrasound. (I forgot to mention that my cyst is on the left ovary). He says my cyst is still there and he would like to do surgery again. WHAT? No way man, summer is coming and I DO NOT want another surgery before summer. So he says "OK, this Fall, we will do the surgery, enjoy your summer".
That was one of my worst decisions of my life. I suffered all summer with pain and by August I was in such pain that my OBGYN took me into emergency surgery. Not only did he have to do another laparoscopy, but he had to do a laparotomy (you know where they cut you like a c-section?). When I saw him post surgery (I was in hospital 3 days) he said, "Rachelle I will see you in 2 weeks times for a follow up".
I get out of hospital on Sunday (ish...give or take a day). By Tuesday his office calls. Now everyone knows that "NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS" right? His secretary said "Dr _____ wants to see you in his office on Thursday". I start shaking, and almost crying. I said, "this has to be bad news, please please please I'm begging can I come in today". She says "of course Rachelle".
So I bring Jason with me. And thank god I did. Because my Dr started telling me about the surgery and what this "cyst" was. He said "so the cyst I took out didn't look right, and I sent it out right away for a biopsy and". Right after that he mentions the word "cancer". Well that was it for me. I was gone. My mind, my eyes, and my hearing was so foggy that I almost passed out. At the end he said "you have an appointment booked for the cancer clinic in Sudbury".
Now, the few weeks that passed are pretty hazy. I also developed "costochondritis." Here is a link to what this is http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/costochondritis/DS00626 .From the stress of everything going on I was getting stress related health issues. On top of that, I didn't heal well down where they cut me either. I developed an infection in the area that lasts 2 years. YES 2 freaking years.
So I won't go into many details about going to Sudbury. But I had 2 appointments in Sudbury total. One with a radiologist who decided I won't need treatment but that I'm to get a "pap" test and ultrasounds every 3 months for while. And then I meet the mother of all Dr's for ovaries. He specializes in ONLY ovaries. My mom and dad (and jay of course) came to both my appointments.
So with that being said, my OBGYN says, that pregnancy may never happen. And he suggests attending a fertility center. He says there are great ones in Toronto or Ottawa. Well we chose Ottawa because I have relatives there who could "house" us while we do treatments.
I start going to Ottawa 18 ish months after the surgery. I meet the most wonderful Dr I've known. Man this guy knows his $hit. I learned SO much from this guy. We try different ways to get pregnant. Now this is where it gets graphic. I get injections everyday for 2 weeks (yes we stayed the whole 2 weeks in Ottawa). I also get blood work and an ultrasound every 2nd day. And then he sends us home and tells me what day to be intimate with my husband. Wow romantic. lol
I was also doing ovulation kits so I could know for sure what day was best. That method failed and we took a few months off.
Spring of 2006, Jason and I decide to try even harder. We meet with my wonderful Ottawa Dr again and decide to try artificial insemination. So this is where I get an injection in my belly everyday and get monitored by an ultrasound. When an egg is ready I then get an injection in my beautiful (icky) festively plump a$$ to make me ovulate.I gotta mention, that through these years of injections my wonderful husband gave me my needles everyday. He would come home from work to do it. He's my hero.
So July 2006 (around Canada day), the Dr decides I have a good egg. He said "I want you to inject yourself with the make yourself ovulate shot and in 2 days we will inseminate you with your husbands semen".
Here comes the good (maybe for not everyone...some of you won't want to hear this but like I said when I started my blog, I'm going to be raw and honest) part. How does this Dr get my husbands, well you know? OK, what I'm about to tell you is the truth and nothing but the truth. The Dr sends my husband (and told me I can HELP) into the "ROOM". Now I can still picture Jason and I laughing our bums off. OMG. We walk in, and see a "curly chair". U know the sexy kind of chairs that you don't lay on or sit on but can lean back on? It's black and leather. Once we get over the initial shock, we look around the room to scope it out. YUP there was a TV, and VHS movies to "help" him. AND some magazines that were so sticky you didn't dare touch it. (told you it was going to get graphic). Needless to say, the PROPS they provided for him were NOT used. LOL
Two days after that, I was inseminated with a needle sooooo long, like I'm talking 12 inches long. I had to "elevate" myself and wait 20 min's. We were then told "good luck, call me in 2 weeks".
WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO FOR 2 WEEKS? Can I breath? Fart? Walk? Eat? Move? OMG, I want this to work OH so bad. I swear I had "pregnancy symptoms" during that time. I was so sure it worked (I was also taking my temperature, to see if my temps were going to stay up).
About 13 days post insemination my temperature dropped and BOOM, started my cycle the next day. Gosh were we devastated. I called my DR asap. He said "you know what Rachelle, take a month off and I'll see you after your next cycle". I said "what can I do in the meantime? Can Jay and I try on our own"? He said "have fun and do it everyday". (yes my Dr was very blunt himself)
We went to dinner that night, it was July 17th 2006. We were at Pizza hut eating our sorrows away. Not aware of ANYTHING. The power goes out. We get a free meal (BONUS). We walk out to our city (well OK, so it's not much of a city, but bigger then a town) and see that a tornado and huge storm had struck. No, for real. Trees were down on the roads everywhere, roofs were blown off of houses, trees had fallen through roofs. And we saw NOTHING of it. We drove to my moms to pick up our dogs and were like "WTF just happened, and how come we were dumb and didn't know ANYTHING while eating". I will never forget that day. It's the day my dreams were shattered and our city got hit with one of our biggest storms ever.
So that month we did what the Dr ordered. We had "FUN". We went camping a lot with friends, and I even drank to feel good lol. BUT, BIG but, my wonderful husband had NOT one sip of alcohol the whole time we were doing fertility treatments. It had been like 3 months with no alcohol or HOT tubs. Our Dr told us every little tid bit that could help our situation. I could explain certain tid bits but I don't think my parents would want to read that much details LOL.
So then on August 24 (ish), I was 2 days away from my next cycle. I remember getting ready to make the call to my Dr and head back to Ottawa for 2 weeks. Jason that day said "why don't you buy a pregnancy test"? I'm like "why?". He said, "well just to make sure were not pregnant before going back to Ottawa". So I go to my favorite store in the whole world----WALMART( I should have shares in that store, cause I swear all our money goes there). I buy a box of 2 tests. The ones where it shows a + or a -.
I get home and put all my Walmart bags in my kitchen. I grab my test and run upstairs to "pee on a stick". Afterwards I lay it down on the counter in the bathroom and head downstairs to unpack my Walmart stuff. I sit on the stairs and think "ah maybe I should just go back upstairs and get it over with and move on with my life. Were going back to Ottawa and someday I will have my miracle baby".
As I grab the test, I see the most faint + EVER. I start shaking and crying. I grab the phone and call Jay screaming and crying. (now all my life with Jay I had envisioned telling him this way....to wrap up the test and give it to him as a gift). That went out the window haha. I scream "I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant". I hear silence. He then says "bebe, remember the last time we took that test and we thought u were but we didn't realize it had to be a plus sign?". I'm like "It's a plus sign". I'm like "OK I gotta go". I hung up the phone without letting him talk.
here is the test that showed the most faint + (the bottom test of the first picture is the first one i took, and you can tell how faint it really is)
But look at the tests when I was a few days pregnant
I call my cousin. She rushes over to see my test. She's like "it's a plus sign, it sure is". She says, I have another test at home that shows 2 lines. Come over". I'm like "OK but first I have to find my parents".
I find my parents in town and tell them in person. Phew, as long as they know then everyone else can know. Now I'm not the type to keep my pregnancies a secret during the first trimester. I know things can happen, but the way I saw it is that if I were to ever lose the baby, everyone would know I lost a baby and ask why I hadn't told them I was pregnant. My family and relatives are pretty close so, I figure why not enjoy it while I can.
So on to my cousins. I take her test. I had no pee left in me but it was enough to show 2 lines. OMG I could actually be pregnant. She says "why don't you go to the walk in clinic and confirm for sure". OK TWIST MY ARM LOL. It's confirmed. And my family Dr also confirmed through blood work.
I won't go through my pregnancy details, but here are pictures of me pregnant month per month with Arielle :)
4 months
5 months
6 months
7 months
8 months
9 months
So that's my story from beginning (ish) to end (ish) on my journey to motherhood.
I'll share a bit about Annabelle.
Now I was very content with one baby. I'm an only child and it's not that bad. I've gotten questions my whole life like "do you wish you had a sister or brother"? or "do you feel like you missed out being an only child"? Now of course having a brother or sister would of been nice, but I didn't know any differently. So, NO I don't feel like I missed out on anything. I had a lot of family and friends to keep me busy hehe.
May of 2009, I had really bad vertigo. I was very dizzy and didn't feel the greatest. That month my poor hubby didn't get many lovings. (sorry mom, dad and my in laws for being so graphic lol). But he did get ONE loving. A very nice one might I add, that gave us our baby, Annabelle. :)
Here is the new (at the time) DIGITAL tests I took for Annbelle hehe
Here is a monthly picture of me pregnant with Annabelle.
3 months
4 months
5 months
6 months
7 months
8 months
9 months
I hope you enjoyed my journey to motherhood. I get quite a few who asked for details on a regular basis and figured maybe I should write it out.
Now I've never thought highly of myself when it comes to my looks, but I must admit I never looked so good as to when I was pregnant with my girls.
Thanks for the support everyone.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Getting to know eachother more
Now this is a bit different I'm sure for a blog, but I'm going to put a series of questions and MY answers, but I'd love for you all to answer them in the comment section. Let's get to know each other EVEN more. PLEASE? :)
1. If you were on a deserted island, what 3 things (NOT people) would you bring?
My first would be my trusted cream that I've used since I was 10 years old. A lot of you know how much i crave this cream and put it on my hands (ahem....and feet) over 10 times a day. (maybe it's an addiction?) Now I do wear nice smelling creams after a shower or perfume, but I'm talking about a cream u wear if you wash your hands a lot or what not....and that cream is this one.
If I found out tomorrow that this cream (and ONLY this cream, you know with the orange line that goes down---I call it the "orange jergens") was going to be discontinued, I would go to every single store that sells it and buy them all. I've already warned my mom that she would have to help. lol
My second would be Chap Stick. It can be the mint, cherry or original. It's the only type of "lip stuff" I can tolerate for a long period of time. Oh wait, that's kinda a lie. I also enjoy the kind Jason likes and his is called Blistex herbal answer.
My third would have to be my "baby" pillow. And it's not the pillow itself per se (altho it does help) but the covers for it have been the covers I've used for over 12 years. My godmother made them for my "baby pillow" a long time ago. And because I wash it every week they get used up. So when I was pregnant with Arielle she made me a lifetime supply with the same material. I started using a "baby pillow" (most of you would call it a travel pillow) when I went to Europe the first time at 16. My mom gave me it. Well this pillow and I haven't left each others side in 18 years. (well I've gone through a crap load of pillows since then, cause i do wash them, but a baby pillow in general) I can't sleep without it, and it comes with me EVERYWHERE. No seriously. Even on road trips. Sleepovers. I just love my "baby pillow".
So now it's your turn, what would YOU bring???
2. If you could live an age forever what would you pick?
For me, I think the age of 25 would be perfect. Your old enough to do anything, and yet young enough to look good haha. I just think it's the perfect age.
3. If you could relive ONE moment in your life (AS IS....meaning no changing it whatsoever) what would it be?
For me, personally, it would be the day Arielle was born. After years of struggles to have one miracle baby (all babies are miracles of course) is by far the most rewarding thing I have done. The unknown of it all. The excitement of what she was going to look like. The first time being a mommy. (please don't get me wrong, i was as excited to meet Annabelle, and worried about her my WHOLE pregnancy but the delivery didn't go so well and that time was pretty foggy for me...not to mention i was asleep when i had her...but that doesn't take away that i was anxious to meet her and love her just as much). When you first become a mommy, it's such an exciting, yet scary time in your life. The unknown. The learning. But I do admit, although i was already a mommy to Arielle, having a second baby was just as exciting and scary, since no 2 babies are the same. So i guess this whole paragraph was written so you don't think that i think any less of baby number 2. But in the whole, i think the day Arielle was born is the day i want to relive AS IS. :) phew.
4. If you could be one of these 3 things what would you be: An actress, a singer or a model?
I'm sure we all know what i would be. A model. OK totally not true. lol
I would want to be an actress. As i repeat myself over and over again in different entries, I've always wanted to be an actress. I think it would be so much fun and interesting to be "someone else" for a role. And if they throw in a love scene....all the more fun. hahaha
5. If you could own a house anywhere in the world (other then where you are now) where would it be? And this house is somewhere you go to so you can vacation and not have to pay a hotel. You own this house and can go to it ANYTIME you want. And this can be ANYWHERE in the world.
For me, I would want to own a house in the Hollywood hills. (haha i know lame right?) But I won't go into details again why. LOL Jason just informed me he wants a house in Australia. So, we would have to fight over it. Bah, who am I kidding, Australia isn't so bad is it? haha
6. If you could bring back THREE of these 80's and 90's TV comedies, which one would you pick? And I'm not talking about reruns, I'm talking about brand new episodes, where the original people are in it. (some have passed on of course but if you could get them back)
a) Growing pains
b) Who's the Boss
c) Full House
d) Three's company
For me, I would love to bring back
7. What is your favorite food in the whole wide world?
I love love love pizza and Caesar salad. Don't ask me to pick one out of the 2. I CAN'T. LOL (PS: I also LOVE steak)
8. If you could afford any car/SUV/truck (guess i should of just written vehicle lol) what would you get?
I would love to own a Land Rover. They seem like really nice SUV's. A real "soccer" mom vehicle. LOL (OK a rich soccer mom).
9. What is the ONE technology you could NOT live without? (it can be ANYTHING in this whole wide world) :)
For me that would be my PVR (tivo). I seriously would never get to see ANY of my shows if that didn't exist. I don't watch ANY live TV anymore (it's been about 5 1/2 years of PVR'ing).
10. Last but not least, what is the one "chore" you dislike the most?
I would have to say, folding and putting laundry away. And if I'm being honest here (and i am) i would rather FOLD laundry then put it away. THUMBS DOWN ON PUTTING LAUNDRY AWAY. (I usually have the laundry folded and my amazing hubby puts it away...he also complains (ok bitches is more like it) about putting it away saying "we have no room for these clothes in our dressers OR the girls". ) LOL
With everything else, I'm sure I could come up with SOOO many more questions. But for now this is what was on my mind.
I would love if some of you respond with your answers. I don't expect details, I am just wanting to get to know you all better.
AND if you decide NOT to answer (which I'm sure some of you are rolling your eyes going "god I don't have time to answer these kind of boring questions) then you've just all gotten to know ME a bit more :)
1. If you were on a deserted island, what 3 things (NOT people) would you bring?
My first would be my trusted cream that I've used since I was 10 years old. A lot of you know how much i crave this cream and put it on my hands (ahem....and feet) over 10 times a day. (maybe it's an addiction?) Now I do wear nice smelling creams after a shower or perfume, but I'm talking about a cream u wear if you wash your hands a lot or what not....and that cream is this one.
My second would be Chap Stick. It can be the mint, cherry or original. It's the only type of "lip stuff" I can tolerate for a long period of time. Oh wait, that's kinda a lie. I also enjoy the kind Jason likes and his is called Blistex herbal answer.
2. If you could live an age forever what would you pick?
For me, I think the age of 25 would be perfect. Your old enough to do anything, and yet young enough to look good haha. I just think it's the perfect age.
3. If you could relive ONE moment in your life (AS IS....meaning no changing it whatsoever) what would it be?
For me, personally, it would be the day Arielle was born. After years of struggles to have one miracle baby (all babies are miracles of course) is by far the most rewarding thing I have done. The unknown of it all. The excitement of what she was going to look like. The first time being a mommy. (please don't get me wrong, i was as excited to meet Annabelle, and worried about her my WHOLE pregnancy but the delivery didn't go so well and that time was pretty foggy for me...not to mention i was asleep when i had her...but that doesn't take away that i was anxious to meet her and love her just as much). When you first become a mommy, it's such an exciting, yet scary time in your life. The unknown. The learning. But I do admit, although i was already a mommy to Arielle, having a second baby was just as exciting and scary, since no 2 babies are the same. So i guess this whole paragraph was written so you don't think that i think any less of baby number 2. But in the whole, i think the day Arielle was born is the day i want to relive AS IS. :) phew.
4. If you could be one of these 3 things what would you be: An actress, a singer or a model?
I'm sure we all know what i would be. A model. OK totally not true. lol
I would want to be an actress. As i repeat myself over and over again in different entries, I've always wanted to be an actress. I think it would be so much fun and interesting to be "someone else" for a role. And if they throw in a love scene....all the more fun. hahaha
5. If you could own a house anywhere in the world (other then where you are now) where would it be? And this house is somewhere you go to so you can vacation and not have to pay a hotel. You own this house and can go to it ANYTIME you want. And this can be ANYWHERE in the world.
For me, I would want to own a house in the Hollywood hills. (haha i know lame right?) But I won't go into details again why. LOL Jason just informed me he wants a house in Australia. So, we would have to fight over it. Bah, who am I kidding, Australia isn't so bad is it? haha
OR
6. If you could bring back THREE of these 80's and 90's TV comedies, which one would you pick? And I'm not talking about reruns, I'm talking about brand new episodes, where the original people are in it. (some have passed on of course but if you could get them back)
a) Growing pains
b) Who's the Boss
c) Full House
d) Three's company
e) Blossom
f) My 2 dads
g) Family matters
h) Saved by the Bell
i) Alf
j) The wonder years
k) Cheers
l) Golden girls
m) Home improvement
n) Sabrina the teenage witch
o) Fresh prince of Bel air
I am sure there is tons more, but these are the ones I remember. If you think of one (remember I'm looking for comedy, not a drama or whatever lol) then you can put it :)
For me, I would love to bring back
SAVED BY THE BELL
THREES COMPANY
BLOSSOM
So I really need to tell you an embarrassing story. When I was an early teen, I was "obsessed" with Joey Lawrence. (the Joey dude from Blossom). I even wrote him 2 letters to his fan base. Well, I had written my phone number in there, in the odd (retarded) case he would call me.
One afternoon my phone rang. I answered and it was a guy. He claimed he was Joey Lawrence and that he had received my letter. I wasn't convinced so he said "well how can I prove it"? I said " i don't know". So he said "what if i do my "WHOA", for you on the phone"? I said "sure". So he did it. When we hung up, I wasn't completely convinced but thought to myself "what if it was really him"? I called a few friends of mine, who after a few hours confessed they had pulled a prank on me. OMG, was i mad, disappointed and embarrassed. That was the last time I told anyone about writing letters to celebrities lol. (and YES I did write to a few more in my life, but this time I actually got a response from them...I got a letter from 2 different Days of our lives stars and Macaulay Culkin. I still have these letters and if i come across them from my move, I will definitely show you)
7. What is your favorite food in the whole wide world?
I love love love pizza and Caesar salad. Don't ask me to pick one out of the 2. I CAN'T. LOL (PS: I also LOVE steak)
8. If you could afford any car/SUV/truck (guess i should of just written vehicle lol) what would you get?
I would love to own a Land Rover. They seem like really nice SUV's. A real "soccer" mom vehicle. LOL (OK a rich soccer mom).
9. What is the ONE technology you could NOT live without? (it can be ANYTHING in this whole wide world) :)
For me that would be my PVR (tivo). I seriously would never get to see ANY of my shows if that didn't exist. I don't watch ANY live TV anymore (it's been about 5 1/2 years of PVR'ing).
This is pretty much the one we have
I bet you all thought I'd say my "BLACKBERRY" EH? :)
someone should buy me these earrings lol
10. Last but not least, what is the one "chore" you dislike the most?
I would have to say, folding and putting laundry away. And if I'm being honest here (and i am) i would rather FOLD laundry then put it away. THUMBS DOWN ON PUTTING LAUNDRY AWAY. (I usually have the laundry folded and my amazing hubby puts it away...he also complains (ok bitches is more like it) about putting it away saying "we have no room for these clothes in our dressers OR the girls". ) LOL
With everything else, I'm sure I could come up with SOOO many more questions. But for now this is what was on my mind.
I would love if some of you respond with your answers. I don't expect details, I am just wanting to get to know you all better.
AND if you decide NOT to answer (which I'm sure some of you are rolling your eyes going "god I don't have time to answer these kind of boring questions) then you've just all gotten to know ME a bit more :)
Monday, April 18, 2011
My bucket list---AKA....my "someday" :)
So after a few days "off" from blogging I had a few people ask me "what's going on, you normally like to talk more then that". Guess I haven't been in the mood to "talk". But here goes ha :)
1. Take a motor home across all of Canada. I may live in Canada, but I've definitely not seen a lot of my country. I'd fly East, buy a huge motor home and work my way all the way west. It would probably take a long time to see everywhere i want to see but that's OK. It would be quite the adventure.
2. From BC (area ish) i would love to go cross country through the USA. Now that's a HUGE dream of mine. I am fascinated by the US. Always have been. And I've not been to many places there except for Florida, Buffalo and Boston. I love USA because their ways a lot different then us in SO many ways and I've always wanted to live there. YES i do love my country and wouldn't move permanently but i would love to live there when i feel like it.
4. To own another Yorkshire Terrier. My little Yorkie Bingo passed away last year, and boy do I still miss him. Always will. He was a special "misfit" doggie and someday I want another "bingo". He was a one of kind dog and he always found secret places to lay and I could always count on him to snuggle. He had the worst breath in the world, and hardly any teeth. When friends would come over and Bingo layed on them, they would ALWAYS say "I think he farted". Well, that wasn't a fart, that was his breath. LOL
9. Go to an Ellen DeGeneres taping. Gosh is she funny. I really think she's one of the funniest people out there. And you know that "know or go" game she plays? Where the heck do those people fall into? I want to play that game when I go to her show.
10. Go on an African lion safari. That's one of Jay's dreams and I want to do that with him. Sooner rather then later.
13. Now years ago, I would of put "get a tattoo". But since I got my first tattoo last summer, I'm going to put get 2 more tattoos. And you know what i want to get? And my next tattoo could be as soon as this fall. When Arielle and Annabelle learn to write their names (you know the way a young child writes...it's all sloppy and sooo cute?) I want a tattoo of their names the way THEY write it. So let's say, were in October and Arielle learns to write her name (she can do many letters right now but not her full name) I am going to get her to write her name on a piece of paper and I'm going to go get a tattoo of her name exactly the way she wrote it. I can't wait.
15. Become a foster parent. We all know that there are a LOT of children in need out there. And I would love to make a difference in someones life. I have a lot of love to give and would love to help in any way I could.
16. Become a vegetarian. I'd like to try it and see how i feel afterwards. (maybe try it for a month or so?) I don't think I could become a vegan, but vegetarian could be doable for me.
17. Go to a masquerade ball. It would be so fun to go into a big ballroom, and everyone be dressed to the nine's and have our faces covered. To try and figure out who everyone is. Ohhh the fun I could have with that one. :)
18. Be an extra in a movie (hey you never know). Now I'm not THAT dumb to think I'd be a lead in a movie, but being an extra and seeing how movies are done, and shot on location. That COULD maybe happen. If I'm at the right place, at the right time, and they need someone to "walk by" a scene. lol
19. To reach 50 years of wedded bliss with Jason. I truly want to celebrate 50 years with him. I want to be old and wrinkly and having my great great great grandchildren come visit us in an old age home. But what I really want is for my kids to take care of us and not "place" us in an old age home. LOL
20. Last but not least, taking my girls to Disney world. (now I know I've been when i was 10 years old), but the joy I see in Arielle's eyes when we talk about anything mickey's clubhouse is pure happiness to me. And this will be checked off in one year and a half. We are taking the girls for a 2 weeks vacay to Florida in October 2012. Arielle saves all her pennies in her piggy bank for her trip and talks about it daily. Someday soon, my daughter's biggest (so far) dream will come true. And Annabelle loves anything Mickey also, because Arielle "shares" her clubhouse stuff. So I'm sure Annabelle will love it as much as her big sister.
1. Take a motor home across all of Canada. I may live in Canada, but I've definitely not seen a lot of my country. I'd fly East, buy a huge motor home and work my way all the way west. It would probably take a long time to see everywhere i want to see but that's OK. It would be quite the adventure.
2. From BC (area ish) i would love to go cross country through the USA. Now that's a HUGE dream of mine. I am fascinated by the US. Always have been. And I've not been to many places there except for Florida, Buffalo and Boston. I love USA because their ways a lot different then us in SO many ways and I've always wanted to live there. YES i do love my country and wouldn't move permanently but i would love to live there when i feel like it.
3. A European trip. I would love to see all of Europe's countries. I've been to Italy, Germany, Austria and Switzerland. And I just love seeing other countries and how different they are from us and the way they live. I would love to spend a good 3 months traveling through Europe.
4. To own another Yorkshire Terrier. My little Yorkie Bingo passed away last year, and boy do I still miss him. Always will. He was a special "misfit" doggie and someday I want another "bingo". He was a one of kind dog and he always found secret places to lay and I could always count on him to snuggle. He had the worst breath in the world, and hardly any teeth. When friends would come over and Bingo layed on them, they would ALWAYS say "I think he farted". Well, that wasn't a fart, that was his breath. LOL
5. To be skinny. I know dumb "bucket" thing eh? And it's not cause I'm not comfortable in my own skin. (OK it is uncomfortable when my fat hangs over lol) but even though I'm heavier then I have been my whole life, i still enjoy life and what it has to offer. I can still laugh and have fun but I'm starting to realize that I don't want to be out of breath when I'm "running" around with my kids. And I'm trying hard lately to lose the weight but some blood work recently told me (well the blood work told the Dr and the Dr told me) that my metabolism is having some issues so it's not entirely my fault i'm "festively plump". But yea i do enjoy to eat, and i do love food. Who doesn't? I don't have a fast metabolism like some people (cough cough *jay*) HAHA. So although I may never be SKINNY skinny (Jay doesn't want me to be skinny, he likes curves) i want be "healthy".
6. To get hair removal laser. I don't want to shave anymore. I want laser so i can not worry about shaving every few days. What a waste of time. And I've been known to have such long leg hairs that people have wanted to beed the hairs on my legs. I want to remove ALL unwanted hair. You know all the places that us woman don't want hair. I want it removed permanently. I won't go into graphic details, but you get my drift. :)
NO this is NOT me LOL
7. To write a novel. I love to write. I may not be THE best writer out there (DUH), but writing is a passion of mine. And I would love to write a book about dreams. And by dreams I mean the "when your asleep type of dreams". I dream so much that I'm sure I could write a novel about dreams I've had. I could perhaps write a book about non fictional things. Or a "based on a true story" book. Now that would be interesting. That way I could write a book about something that I've seen/witnessed in my life that is based on a true story but has fictional aspects also. hmmmmm.....
8. To meet Ryan Philippe. He is NOT my favorite "celebrity crush" anymore. But I've seen cruel intentions SO many times, and he's been my "ohhh wow" actor (in THAT movie) every time i see it. I just HAVE to meet him. U know to get that outta my system. *sigh* :)
Here is Ryan in a picture from the movie
9. Go to an Ellen DeGeneres taping. Gosh is she funny. I really think she's one of the funniest people out there. And you know that "know or go" game she plays? Where the heck do those people fall into? I want to play that game when I go to her show.
10. Go on an African lion safari. That's one of Jay's dreams and I want to do that with him. Sooner rather then later.
So we've already done one, but I want the REAL thing, not just the "fake" one we went to last year HAHA
11. Take a cruise. A 2 week cruise. One that will stop at a lot of cities along the way, so i can venture out and sight see. I would love to take a cruise with my whole family. The idea of having a pool/water slide on a boat. And to look out my window and just see ocean. Heaven. One thing I should mention. I'm afraid of the ocean. I'm afraid of the unknown that lays deep into the ocean. So, along with my cruise, I would love to get over my fear and maybe snorkel. I've had the chance to snorkel before but i was too chicken. So maybe i could take lessons and actually scuba dive. But i may be too afraid to go very deep.
12. This one may sound a bit "different" for a bucket list, but to learn to act within my sphere of influence and stop worrying about things which are not within my control. I worry 24/7 (ish). I've always been a worry wort and that's not something I'm going to stop. I won't go into details about it, because that's a "entry in my blog" in itself. But i would like to stop worrying about stuff that aren't in my control. I so wish i could control certain things but when your waiting for a test result that has to do with your health let's say, the test will come out, the way it will come out. NOTHING I say or do will change that outcome. And that sucks. And as much as i worry about the outcome, it's not going to change the result. I've had SO many people in my life tell me to stop worrying so much about things and that I'll make myself sick over it, but those things are easier said then done. I don't have a button that says "DO NO WORRY". But I need to work on that part. Some things I CAN'T CHANGE.
13. Now years ago, I would of put "get a tattoo". But since I got my first tattoo last summer, I'm going to put get 2 more tattoos. And you know what i want to get? And my next tattoo could be as soon as this fall. When Arielle and Annabelle learn to write their names (you know the way a young child writes...it's all sloppy and sooo cute?) I want a tattoo of their names the way THEY write it. So let's say, were in October and Arielle learns to write her name (she can do many letters right now but not her full name) I am going to get her to write her name on a piece of paper and I'm going to go get a tattoo of her name exactly the way she wrote it. I can't wait.
My first tattoo
14. Volunteer in an animal shelter. Now where I live, we don't have many. But I've asked if i could help out at our humane society and i was turned away saying they have too many people helping. Now I find it hard to believe that they can't have someone else helping FOR FREE. But, someday, perhaps when both girls are in school, i could donate time to helping animals in need.
15. Become a foster parent. We all know that there are a LOT of children in need out there. And I would love to make a difference in someones life. I have a lot of love to give and would love to help in any way I could.
16. Become a vegetarian. I'd like to try it and see how i feel afterwards. (maybe try it for a month or so?) I don't think I could become a vegan, but vegetarian could be doable for me.
17. Go to a masquerade ball. It would be so fun to go into a big ballroom, and everyone be dressed to the nine's and have our faces covered. To try and figure out who everyone is. Ohhh the fun I could have with that one. :)
18. Be an extra in a movie (hey you never know). Now I'm not THAT dumb to think I'd be a lead in a movie, but being an extra and seeing how movies are done, and shot on location. That COULD maybe happen. If I'm at the right place, at the right time, and they need someone to "walk by" a scene. lol
19. To reach 50 years of wedded bliss with Jason. I truly want to celebrate 50 years with him. I want to be old and wrinkly and having my great great great grandchildren come visit us in an old age home. But what I really want is for my kids to take care of us and not "place" us in an old age home. LOL
Here are a few of my wedding :)
And I can't forget my doggie Muffin. I will never forget him :) (he also had 2 fittings for his tux hehe)
20. Last but not least, taking my girls to Disney world. (now I know I've been when i was 10 years old), but the joy I see in Arielle's eyes when we talk about anything mickey's clubhouse is pure happiness to me. And this will be checked off in one year and a half. We are taking the girls for a 2 weeks vacay to Florida in October 2012. Arielle saves all her pennies in her piggy bank for her trip and talks about it daily. Someday soon, my daughter's biggest (so far) dream will come true. And Annabelle loves anything Mickey also, because Arielle "shares" her clubhouse stuff. So I'm sure Annabelle will love it as much as her big sister.
I have so many more things I would love to accomplish in my lifetime, but for now, this is the BIG of what I would like before I "kick it". :)
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