So, a few people lately have asked me to explain the hardship I endured while trying to become a mommy. So I've decided to blog about it. I'm warning you, it's going to be long, and graphic.
So Jason and I met on the eve of his 19th birthday, September 24, 1999. Two months prior, I had turned 22. (I'm such a COUGAR EH?) Now I'm not going to explain our whole courtship, since you all know that we DID end up together. OK, well maybe just a little bit. Ah what the heck, I'll talk about it a little bit (ish).
I met him at my cousins house, and I remember going up to her and asking "who's the guy with the really blue eyes?". Well Jason and I got talking a lot that night. But he drank a lot and ended up getting sick. He then proceeded to pass out on the couch. (so attractive lol). So I slipped him my number and stuck it in his pocket.
The next day, after his baseball practice, he called me and told me that some of his friends were going out to the bar (since he IS 19....but had been drinking for quite a few years before haha) to celebrate. He asked me to come along. I asked my cousin to come but she didn't want to. I didn't really like being alone (well not along per se, but you know, with no one I know) but I went anyways.
That night he got SO hammered, that I drove him home (I was DD). He wanted to watch a movie. But right away he passed out, so I dragged (no I'm serious...I literally dragged him) into his bed and left. I thought to myself "um not too sure this guy is for me". Come to find out now (since we've been together so long), the next day he was a little upset that I didn't actually put blankets on him when I left. BIG BABY LOL
The next day he asked me out again. (really?! do I have too?) He said don't worry I will be SOBER. Hmmm, OK fine. And the rest is history (ish).
Fast forward to January 2002. We got married January 19th, 2002, and on our honeymoon we met up with another cousin of mine and went bowling. U know that little red line you can't cross when you bowl? Well I passed that line, and I didn't know this before but it's so darn slippery that I fell so hard on my back/right hip. Jason and my cousin laughed (I was kinda mad at that....but only because I was so hurt).
So we continue on with our honeymoon (which was a big huge road trip...from home to Niagara Falls and we would spend nights in different hotels and enjoy some great food) and I'm really sore through the whole trip. To this day I still have hip issues because of my fall. But this fall is what saved my life.
I come home and see my Dr for this pain. He said "well why don't we do an ultrasound". OK, sure, but not really understanding what an ultrasound will show if I hurt my right hip.
That week, after my ultrasound, I see my Dr again. He said "you have a cyst, so I'm going to refer you to an OBGYN." When I see this new Dr, he wants to do a laparoscopy. (you know the surgery that they go through ur belly button). So by March, i get my surgery.
All was good (or so I thought). By May of that year, I'm in SUCH pain, that my OBGYN sends me for another ultrasound. (I forgot to mention that my cyst is on the left ovary). He says my cyst is still there and he would like to do surgery again. WHAT? No way man, summer is coming and I DO NOT want another surgery before summer. So he says "OK, this Fall, we will do the surgery, enjoy your summer".
That was one of my worst decisions of my life. I suffered all summer with pain and by August I was in such pain that my OBGYN took me into emergency surgery. Not only did he have to do another laparoscopy, but he had to do a laparotomy (you know where they cut you like a c-section?). When I saw him post surgery (I was in hospital 3 days) he said, "Rachelle I will see you in 2 weeks times for a follow up".
I get out of hospital on Sunday (ish...give or take a day). By Tuesday his office calls. Now everyone knows that "NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS" right? His secretary said "Dr _____ wants to see you in his office on Thursday". I start shaking, and almost crying. I said, "this has to be bad news, please please please I'm begging can I come in today". She says "of course Rachelle".
So I bring Jason with me. And thank god I did. Because my Dr started telling me about the surgery and what this "cyst" was. He said "so the cyst I took out didn't look right, and I sent it out right away for a biopsy and". Right after that he mentions the word "cancer". Well that was it for me. I was gone. My mind, my eyes, and my hearing was so foggy that I almost passed out. At the end he said "you have an appointment booked for the cancer clinic in Sudbury".
Now, the few weeks that passed are pretty hazy. I also developed "costochondritis." Here is a link to what this is http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/costochondritis/DS00626 .From the stress of everything going on I was getting stress related health issues. On top of that, I didn't heal well down where they cut me either. I developed an infection in the area that lasts 2 years. YES 2 freaking years.
So I won't go into many details about going to Sudbury. But I had 2 appointments in Sudbury total. One with a radiologist who decided I won't need treatment but that I'm to get a "pap" test and ultrasounds every 3 months for while. And then I meet the mother of all Dr's for ovaries. He specializes in ONLY ovaries. My mom and dad (and jay of course) came to both my appointments.
So with that being said, my OBGYN says, that pregnancy may never happen. And he suggests attending a fertility center. He says there are great ones in Toronto or Ottawa. Well we chose Ottawa because I have relatives there who could "house" us while we do treatments.
I start going to Ottawa 18 ish months after the surgery. I meet the most wonderful Dr I've known. Man this guy knows his $hit. I learned SO much from this guy. We try different ways to get pregnant. Now this is where it gets graphic. I get injections everyday for 2 weeks (yes we stayed the whole 2 weeks in Ottawa). I also get blood work and an ultrasound every 2nd day. And then he sends us home and tells me what day to be intimate with my husband. Wow romantic. lol
I was also doing ovulation kits so I could know for sure what day was best. That method failed and we took a few months off.
Spring of 2006, Jason and I decide to try even harder. We meet with my wonderful Ottawa Dr again and decide to try artificial insemination. So this is where I get an injection in my belly everyday and get monitored by an ultrasound. When an egg is ready I then get an injection in my beautiful (icky) festively plump a$$ to make me ovulate.I gotta mention, that through these years of injections my wonderful husband gave me my needles everyday. He would come home from work to do it. He's my hero.
So July 2006 (around Canada day), the Dr decides I have a good egg. He said "I want you to inject yourself with the make yourself ovulate shot and in 2 days we will inseminate you with your husbands semen".
Here comes the good (maybe for not everyone...some of you won't want to hear this but like I said when I started my blog, I'm going to be raw and honest) part. How does this Dr get my husbands, well you know? OK, what I'm about to tell you is the truth and nothing but the truth. The Dr sends my husband (and told me I can HELP) into the "ROOM". Now I can still picture Jason and I laughing our bums off. OMG. We walk in, and see a "curly chair". U know the sexy kind of chairs that you don't lay on or sit on but can lean back on? It's black and leather. Once we get over the initial shock, we look around the room to scope it out. YUP there was a TV, and VHS movies to "help" him. AND some magazines that were so sticky you didn't dare touch it. (told you it was going to get graphic). Needless to say, the PROPS they provided for him were NOT used. LOL
Two days after that, I was inseminated with a needle sooooo long, like I'm talking 12 inches long. I had to "elevate" myself and wait 20 min's. We were then told "good luck, call me in 2 weeks".
WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO FOR 2 WEEKS? Can I breath? Fart? Walk? Eat? Move? OMG, I want this to work OH so bad. I swear I had "pregnancy symptoms" during that time. I was so sure it worked (I was also taking my temperature, to see if my temps were going to stay up).
About 13 days post insemination my temperature dropped and BOOM, started my cycle the next day. Gosh were we devastated. I called my DR asap. He said "you know what Rachelle, take a month off and I'll see you after your next cycle". I said "what can I do in the meantime? Can Jay and I try on our own"? He said "have fun and do it everyday". (yes my Dr was very blunt himself)
We went to dinner that night, it was July 17th 2006. We were at Pizza hut eating our sorrows away. Not aware of ANYTHING. The power goes out. We get a free meal (BONUS). We walk out to our city (well OK, so it's not much of a city, but bigger then a town) and see that a tornado and huge storm had struck. No, for real. Trees were down on the roads everywhere, roofs were blown off of houses, trees had fallen through roofs. And we saw NOTHING of it. We drove to my moms to pick up our dogs and were like "WTF just happened, and how come we were dumb and didn't know ANYTHING while eating". I will never forget that day. It's the day my dreams were shattered and our city got hit with one of our biggest storms ever.
So that month we did what the Dr ordered. We had "FUN". We went camping a lot with friends, and I even drank to feel good lol. BUT, BIG but, my wonderful husband had NOT one sip of alcohol the whole time we were doing fertility treatments. It had been like 3 months with no alcohol or HOT tubs. Our Dr told us every little tid bit that could help our situation. I could explain certain tid bits but I don't think my parents would want to read that much details LOL.
So then on August 24 (ish), I was 2 days away from my next cycle. I remember getting ready to make the call to my Dr and head back to Ottawa for 2 weeks. Jason that day said "why don't you buy a pregnancy test"? I'm like "why?". He said, "well just to make sure were not pregnant before going back to Ottawa". So I go to my favorite store in the whole world----WALMART( I should have shares in that store, cause I swear all our money goes there). I buy a box of 2 tests. The ones where it shows a + or a -.
I get home and put all my Walmart bags in my kitchen. I grab my test and run upstairs to "pee on a stick". Afterwards I lay it down on the counter in the bathroom and head downstairs to unpack my Walmart stuff. I sit on the stairs and think "ah maybe I should just go back upstairs and get it over with and move on with my life. Were going back to Ottawa and someday I will have my miracle baby".
As I grab the test, I see the most faint + EVER. I start shaking and crying. I grab the phone and call Jay screaming and crying. (now all my life with Jay I had envisioned telling him this way....to wrap up the test and give it to him as a gift). That went out the window haha. I scream "I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant". I hear silence. He then says "bebe, remember the last time we took that test and we thought u were but we didn't realize it had to be a plus sign?". I'm like "It's a plus sign". I'm like "OK I gotta go". I hung up the phone without letting him talk.
I call my cousin. She rushes over to see my test. She's like "it's a plus sign, it sure is". She says, I have another test at home that shows 2 lines. Come over". I'm like "OK but first I have to find my parents".
I find my parents in town and tell them in person. Phew, as long as they know then everyone else can know. Now I'm not the type to keep my pregnancies a secret during the first trimester. I know things can happen, but the way I saw it is that if I were to ever lose the baby, everyone would know I lost a baby and ask why I hadn't told them I was pregnant. My family and relatives are pretty close so, I figure why not enjoy it while I can.
So on to my cousins. I take her test. I had no pee left in me but it was enough to show 2 lines. OMG I could actually be pregnant. She says "why don't you go to the walk in clinic and confirm for sure". OK TWIST MY ARM LOL. It's confirmed. And my family Dr also confirmed through blood work.
I won't go through my pregnancy details, but here are pictures of me pregnant month per month with Arielle :)
So that's my story from beginning (ish) to end (ish) on my journey to motherhood.
I'll share a bit about Annabelle.
Now I was very content with one baby. I'm an only child and it's not that bad. I've gotten questions my whole life like "do you wish you had a sister or brother"? or "do you feel like you missed out being an only child"? Now of course having a brother or sister would of been nice, but I didn't know any differently. So, NO I don't feel like I missed out on anything. I had a lot of family and friends to keep me busy hehe.
May of 2009, I had really bad vertigo. I was very dizzy and didn't feel the greatest. That month my poor hubby didn't get many lovings. (sorry mom, dad and my in laws for being so graphic lol). But he did get ONE loving. A very nice one might I add, that gave us our baby, Annabelle. :)
Here is a monthly picture of me pregnant with Annabelle.
I hope you enjoyed my journey to motherhood. I get quite a few who asked for details on a regular basis and figured maybe I should write it out.
Now I've never thought highly of myself when it comes to my looks, but I must admit I never looked so good as to when I was pregnant with my girls.
Thanks for the support everyone.
So Jason and I met on the eve of his 19th birthday, September 24, 1999. Two months prior, I had turned 22. (I'm such a COUGAR EH?) Now I'm not going to explain our whole courtship, since you all know that we DID end up together. OK, well maybe just a little bit. Ah what the heck, I'll talk about it a little bit (ish).
I met him at my cousins house, and I remember going up to her and asking "who's the guy with the really blue eyes?". Well Jason and I got talking a lot that night. But he drank a lot and ended up getting sick. He then proceeded to pass out on the couch. (so attractive lol). So I slipped him my number and stuck it in his pocket.
The next day, after his baseball practice, he called me and told me that some of his friends were going out to the bar (since he IS 19....but had been drinking for quite a few years before haha) to celebrate. He asked me to come along. I asked my cousin to come but she didn't want to. I didn't really like being alone (well not along per se, but you know, with no one I know) but I went anyways.
That night he got SO hammered, that I drove him home (I was DD). He wanted to watch a movie. But right away he passed out, so I dragged (no I'm serious...I literally dragged him) into his bed and left. I thought to myself "um not too sure this guy is for me". Come to find out now (since we've been together so long), the next day he was a little upset that I didn't actually put blankets on him when I left. BIG BABY LOL
The next day he asked me out again. (really?! do I have too?) He said don't worry I will be SOBER. Hmmm, OK fine. And the rest is history (ish).
Fast forward to January 2002. We got married January 19th, 2002, and on our honeymoon we met up with another cousin of mine and went bowling. U know that little red line you can't cross when you bowl? Well I passed that line, and I didn't know this before but it's so darn slippery that I fell so hard on my back/right hip. Jason and my cousin laughed (I was kinda mad at that....but only because I was so hurt).
So we continue on with our honeymoon (which was a big huge road trip...from home to Niagara Falls and we would spend nights in different hotels and enjoy some great food) and I'm really sore through the whole trip. To this day I still have hip issues because of my fall. But this fall is what saved my life.
I come home and see my Dr for this pain. He said "well why don't we do an ultrasound". OK, sure, but not really understanding what an ultrasound will show if I hurt my right hip.
That week, after my ultrasound, I see my Dr again. He said "you have a cyst, so I'm going to refer you to an OBGYN." When I see this new Dr, he wants to do a laparoscopy. (you know the surgery that they go through ur belly button). So by March, i get my surgery.
All was good (or so I thought). By May of that year, I'm in SUCH pain, that my OBGYN sends me for another ultrasound. (I forgot to mention that my cyst is on the left ovary). He says my cyst is still there and he would like to do surgery again. WHAT? No way man, summer is coming and I DO NOT want another surgery before summer. So he says "OK, this Fall, we will do the surgery, enjoy your summer".
That was one of my worst decisions of my life. I suffered all summer with pain and by August I was in such pain that my OBGYN took me into emergency surgery. Not only did he have to do another laparoscopy, but he had to do a laparotomy (you know where they cut you like a c-section?). When I saw him post surgery (I was in hospital 3 days) he said, "Rachelle I will see you in 2 weeks times for a follow up".
I get out of hospital on Sunday (ish...give or take a day). By Tuesday his office calls. Now everyone knows that "NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS" right? His secretary said "Dr _____ wants to see you in his office on Thursday". I start shaking, and almost crying. I said, "this has to be bad news, please please please I'm begging can I come in today". She says "of course Rachelle".
So I bring Jason with me. And thank god I did. Because my Dr started telling me about the surgery and what this "cyst" was. He said "so the cyst I took out didn't look right, and I sent it out right away for a biopsy and". Right after that he mentions the word "cancer". Well that was it for me. I was gone. My mind, my eyes, and my hearing was so foggy that I almost passed out. At the end he said "you have an appointment booked for the cancer clinic in Sudbury".
Now, the few weeks that passed are pretty hazy. I also developed "costochondritis." Here is a link to what this is http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/costochondritis/DS00626 .From the stress of everything going on I was getting stress related health issues. On top of that, I didn't heal well down where they cut me either. I developed an infection in the area that lasts 2 years. YES 2 freaking years.
So I won't go into many details about going to Sudbury. But I had 2 appointments in Sudbury total. One with a radiologist who decided I won't need treatment but that I'm to get a "pap" test and ultrasounds every 3 months for while. And then I meet the mother of all Dr's for ovaries. He specializes in ONLY ovaries. My mom and dad (and jay of course) came to both my appointments.
So with that being said, my OBGYN says, that pregnancy may never happen. And he suggests attending a fertility center. He says there are great ones in Toronto or Ottawa. Well we chose Ottawa because I have relatives there who could "house" us while we do treatments.
I start going to Ottawa 18 ish months after the surgery. I meet the most wonderful Dr I've known. Man this guy knows his $hit. I learned SO much from this guy. We try different ways to get pregnant. Now this is where it gets graphic. I get injections everyday for 2 weeks (yes we stayed the whole 2 weeks in Ottawa). I also get blood work and an ultrasound every 2nd day. And then he sends us home and tells me what day to be intimate with my husband. Wow romantic. lol
I was also doing ovulation kits so I could know for sure what day was best. That method failed and we took a few months off.
Spring of 2006, Jason and I decide to try even harder. We meet with my wonderful Ottawa Dr again and decide to try artificial insemination. So this is where I get an injection in my belly everyday and get monitored by an ultrasound. When an egg is ready I then get an injection in my beautiful (icky) festively plump a$$ to make me ovulate.I gotta mention, that through these years of injections my wonderful husband gave me my needles everyday. He would come home from work to do it. He's my hero.
So July 2006 (around Canada day), the Dr decides I have a good egg. He said "I want you to inject yourself with the make yourself ovulate shot and in 2 days we will inseminate you with your husbands semen".
Here comes the good (maybe for not everyone...some of you won't want to hear this but like I said when I started my blog, I'm going to be raw and honest) part. How does this Dr get my husbands, well you know? OK, what I'm about to tell you is the truth and nothing but the truth. The Dr sends my husband (and told me I can HELP) into the "ROOM". Now I can still picture Jason and I laughing our bums off. OMG. We walk in, and see a "curly chair". U know the sexy kind of chairs that you don't lay on or sit on but can lean back on? It's black and leather. Once we get over the initial shock, we look around the room to scope it out. YUP there was a TV, and VHS movies to "help" him. AND some magazines that were so sticky you didn't dare touch it. (told you it was going to get graphic). Needless to say, the PROPS they provided for him were NOT used. LOL
Two days after that, I was inseminated with a needle sooooo long, like I'm talking 12 inches long. I had to "elevate" myself and wait 20 min's. We were then told "good luck, call me in 2 weeks".
WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO FOR 2 WEEKS? Can I breath? Fart? Walk? Eat? Move? OMG, I want this to work OH so bad. I swear I had "pregnancy symptoms" during that time. I was so sure it worked (I was also taking my temperature, to see if my temps were going to stay up).
About 13 days post insemination my temperature dropped and BOOM, started my cycle the next day. Gosh were we devastated. I called my DR asap. He said "you know what Rachelle, take a month off and I'll see you after your next cycle". I said "what can I do in the meantime? Can Jay and I try on our own"? He said "have fun and do it everyday". (yes my Dr was very blunt himself)
We went to dinner that night, it was July 17th 2006. We were at Pizza hut eating our sorrows away. Not aware of ANYTHING. The power goes out. We get a free meal (BONUS). We walk out to our city (well OK, so it's not much of a city, but bigger then a town) and see that a tornado and huge storm had struck. No, for real. Trees were down on the roads everywhere, roofs were blown off of houses, trees had fallen through roofs. And we saw NOTHING of it. We drove to my moms to pick up our dogs and were like "WTF just happened, and how come we were dumb and didn't know ANYTHING while eating". I will never forget that day. It's the day my dreams were shattered and our city got hit with one of our biggest storms ever.
So that month we did what the Dr ordered. We had "FUN". We went camping a lot with friends, and I even drank to feel good lol. BUT, BIG but, my wonderful husband had NOT one sip of alcohol the whole time we were doing fertility treatments. It had been like 3 months with no alcohol or HOT tubs. Our Dr told us every little tid bit that could help our situation. I could explain certain tid bits but I don't think my parents would want to read that much details LOL.
So then on August 24 (ish), I was 2 days away from my next cycle. I remember getting ready to make the call to my Dr and head back to Ottawa for 2 weeks. Jason that day said "why don't you buy a pregnancy test"? I'm like "why?". He said, "well just to make sure were not pregnant before going back to Ottawa". So I go to my favorite store in the whole world----WALMART( I should have shares in that store, cause I swear all our money goes there). I buy a box of 2 tests. The ones where it shows a + or a -.
I get home and put all my Walmart bags in my kitchen. I grab my test and run upstairs to "pee on a stick". Afterwards I lay it down on the counter in the bathroom and head downstairs to unpack my Walmart stuff. I sit on the stairs and think "ah maybe I should just go back upstairs and get it over with and move on with my life. Were going back to Ottawa and someday I will have my miracle baby".
As I grab the test, I see the most faint + EVER. I start shaking and crying. I grab the phone and call Jay screaming and crying. (now all my life with Jay I had envisioned telling him this way....to wrap up the test and give it to him as a gift). That went out the window haha. I scream "I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant". I hear silence. He then says "bebe, remember the last time we took that test and we thought u were but we didn't realize it had to be a plus sign?". I'm like "It's a plus sign". I'm like "OK I gotta go". I hung up the phone without letting him talk.
here is the test that showed the most faint + (the bottom test of the first picture is the first one i took, and you can tell how faint it really is)
But look at the tests when I was a few days pregnant
I call my cousin. She rushes over to see my test. She's like "it's a plus sign, it sure is". She says, I have another test at home that shows 2 lines. Come over". I'm like "OK but first I have to find my parents".
I find my parents in town and tell them in person. Phew, as long as they know then everyone else can know. Now I'm not the type to keep my pregnancies a secret during the first trimester. I know things can happen, but the way I saw it is that if I were to ever lose the baby, everyone would know I lost a baby and ask why I hadn't told them I was pregnant. My family and relatives are pretty close so, I figure why not enjoy it while I can.
So on to my cousins. I take her test. I had no pee left in me but it was enough to show 2 lines. OMG I could actually be pregnant. She says "why don't you go to the walk in clinic and confirm for sure". OK TWIST MY ARM LOL. It's confirmed. And my family Dr also confirmed through blood work.
I won't go through my pregnancy details, but here are pictures of me pregnant month per month with Arielle :)
4 months
5 months
6 months
7 months
8 months
9 months
So that's my story from beginning (ish) to end (ish) on my journey to motherhood.
I'll share a bit about Annabelle.
Now I was very content with one baby. I'm an only child and it's not that bad. I've gotten questions my whole life like "do you wish you had a sister or brother"? or "do you feel like you missed out being an only child"? Now of course having a brother or sister would of been nice, but I didn't know any differently. So, NO I don't feel like I missed out on anything. I had a lot of family and friends to keep me busy hehe.
May of 2009, I had really bad vertigo. I was very dizzy and didn't feel the greatest. That month my poor hubby didn't get many lovings. (sorry mom, dad and my in laws for being so graphic lol). But he did get ONE loving. A very nice one might I add, that gave us our baby, Annabelle. :)
Here is the new (at the time) DIGITAL tests I took for Annbelle hehe
Here is a monthly picture of me pregnant with Annabelle.
3 months
4 months
5 months
6 months
7 months
8 months
9 months
I hope you enjoyed my journey to motherhood. I get quite a few who asked for details on a regular basis and figured maybe I should write it out.
Now I've never thought highly of myself when it comes to my looks, but I must admit I never looked so good as to when I was pregnant with my girls.
Thanks for the support everyone.
2 comments:
I loved reading your stories!! I only knew a little of that! What blessings your girls are!
HOW DID YOU EVER GET ONE STUCK UP YOU?
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