Pre and Post Surgery Nonsense

Wow is what comes to mind. Why me? Why someone who is so full of life, joy and happiness do I have to be hit with SO much in my life? And no, I'm not normally one who is self pity, I have a beautiful husband who dotes on me like no man I've ever met, and 2 gorgeous little girls who to me are the best thing that has ever happened in my life. But there is really only so much a happy woman can take of this shit.

Things come in 3's. Well in one week, 3 things did in fact happen. Strep throat was my first, then came the norwalk/food poisoning (will never know exactly WHAT that was, but I truly died and came back to life) and third was surgery. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

So, I get to the hospital on Thursday, January 31st at 10:40 AM. By 11:15AM I'm in the back talking to a lot of nurses, almost repeating the same thing so they can make sure of my history, and all that wonderful BS. I change into a gown, and put on a robe. (I really wanted to bring that robe home but along the way into surgery it was taken off of me by some nurses so I couldn't bring it home-it had disapeared). I get into one waiting area where there is a girl there, younger then I am. Much younger actually. For 20 LONG minutes it's awkward silence. You know the type where you just stare at walls, play with your robe belt and hope one of you is called so you can stop avoiding eye contact with this person. Ah finally, she's called in.

I'm alone in my thoughts. Not for long though. A man comes. He's 54. I know this cause I'm pretty sure this man divulged his whole life to me. His first comment to me when he came in? "So, why you in here today". OMG he did NOT just ask that. SHIT. What the hell do I tell him? So I proceed by saying "gynecological problems". He then says "oh whats going on"? REALLY???? you did NOT just ask that to a WOMAN???? Think fast Rachelle, think fast. My humour in me should of just told  him VERY bluntly why in fact I'm in surgery but my SHOCK of these questions made me calmly say "oh you know us woman always have problems". haha. After this point, an elderly lady comes in a wheelchair. My new friend, this man, asks her "so why you in". WOW, he's NOT shy is he? So she's in for a "trigger finger". Found out my new man friend is in for a hernia. I found out where he's from, how long he has been in North Bay. NO time for awkward silence when he's around let me tell you. Next he asks me AND the elderly lady, what area of town we live in. WHOA. So I tell him VAGUELY what area of town. Find out also where he lives, and where this elderly woman lives. By this point I'm like "omg please call my name, please call my name". OH here we go, I hear RACHEL (gah it's NOT RACHEL, it's RACHELLE). I decide not to correct the nurse and proceed to my next destination.

The nurse asks how tall I am. And then puts me on a scale. Yuck. Good thing I almost died last weekend and lost some weight. I then get put behind a curtain for more waiting. Another 90 ish minutes of waiting. In between my waiting, I see people come and go, and hear questions being asked to them. Then boom, THE MAN IS BACK. I see him again cause I'm sitting right by the scale. He looks at me and says "oh hey we meet again". (oh boy). Thank GOD he didn't ask how much I weigh. I mean he knows why I'm here, he knows my age (who by the way he gave me mid 20's while we were waiting in the waiting room-he was shocked i was 35-maybe he's not such a bad man after all LOL) and he knows where I live...why not know how much I weigh??

My wonderful DR comes to see me and touches base. Gosh I love that man. I tell him he must of missed me and he says "always". We shoot the shit a little and then he's off to prepare for our date.

So, I'm walking to surgery. Get inside this very frigid room. I see and meet a few nurses and the anesthesiologist. I could hear them talking and i make a joke, more of a nervous joke and I say "so I'm usually a very jokey person but I'm probably going to be sleeping today". The anesthesiologist says "oh honey, it's not probably, it's a YOU will be sleeping".

I lay on table and they attempt an IV in my left hand. Epic fail. Busted a vessel. So onto the right hand. Success but holy moly it hurt. A few min's goes by and they put a mask on me. Nurse says it's oxygen. I said "I'm not sleeping yet"? she said "in a few min's". So in the corner of my eye i see someone by my IV. I get asked to breath in oxygen. Then every one's voice is leaving my ears. I hear someone says "Rachelle keep your eyes open and think of something beautiful".  At that moment Arielle and Annabelle popped in my head so fast. I also know this is the moment that I'm going to fall under, fall under their spell and they can do whatever they want with me. I have now left the building.

My eyes are blinking, and I'm in pain. I have a personal nurse in recovery checking vitals and asking questions. Oh I have pains in my stomach that last at least an hour. In that hour they gave me my quota of pain meds through IV called something with an F. My quota on gravol since I was going to throw up. And they ALSO gave a percocet. I am in pain, but boy am I flying high.

Once I've been stable and moved from the first recovery to the second my husband is able to join me. He updates me on a few things. I come in and out of consciousness. It took a good 45 min's or so to get me dressed. Every time I would sit up to get dressed I'd almost pass out. If hubby put socks on me, I'd have to lay back down and take it easy some more. When all was said and done, he wheeled me in a wheelchair to the car. But he parked me inside the hospital while he got our car. I am sure people looking at me must of thought i was a zombie.

I get in the car, and lay down, just picturing myself being in bed. I get home and as much as I'm happy to see my girls, i need to lay down and ask Jason to bring me one girl at a time to our bed. Annabelle is first, and she's scared to touch me. I hug her and she won't touch me. I reassure her that mommy can be touched and would love to be touched by her. My fave thing to do with Annabelle is grab my finger and rub her face and soak her all in. Once she sees I'm doing this she realizes I'm her mommy and I'm OK.

I send her off to get Arielle. Arielle was getting ready to go sleep at Nana's. Arielle comes in and my favorite thing to do with her is nuzzle her. Oh boy do I love doing that. She asks questions and we have a short chat. She's excited to sleep at Nana's. By this point I call both kids in. But I'm tired and anxious to lay. My mom comes in and I hug her tight. SO tight. She's afraid to hurt me but at this point I just want my mommy.

Now I'm alone again. From about 6-12 it's NOT a good time. I am so high on the drugs they gave me that every time I fell asleep I would awake gasping for air. Can't feel myself breath. So once Annabelle is in bed, Jay worked on his laptop beside me sipping a beer. He said I keep waking up scared like I can't breath. I'm scared that I will fall asleep and not wake up. I have to trust that Jason is there to keep an eye on me.

Boom, it's 10:30 AM the next day, today actually. And I'm alive. I have cramps (like contractions), and Jay has given me Advil. Although I've been perscribed PERCS, I don't think I'm going to take too many of those. So Advil it is.

I'd like to first off, thank my friends who have emailed and texted me. I have a lot to catch up on and I promise I will respond to each one of you when I can. I haven't read anything yet. Thank you to those who never fail to check up on me. Who kept me in their thoughts. You are amazing friends and I value you all each individually.

I'd like to thank my mom, who is here NO matter what and loves my girls as much as we do. Your grand babies love you so much and crave time with you. Merci maman, I love you more then you will EVER know.

Thank you to my dad and his fiancee, who are also there when we need or want something. I can't wait until we go over tomorrow for dinner, and I can lay on your couch and just be catered to. I miss coming over and this is WAY long overdue.

Thank you to my beautiful little girls who are the best, most joyous zest for life little girls I've ever come in contact with. Arielle, you are one smart little girl, and you are like me and worry about so much. Let mommy do the worrying, just enjoy your childhood baby girl, and know that maman is your biggest fan. I love you my miss Magoo. Annabelle, oh my beautiful, free spirited Annabelle. Your presence in this world is known and you sure make anyone who meets you love you and wanna keep you. But your mine and I love your zest for life. Arielle and Annabelle you will always be my heart walking out of my body.

Last, but NOT least, Jason. Oh Jason. You deserve your own blog entry. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for putting up with so much in our 13 1/2 years together. You are the most patient, loving, caring man I've ever EVER met (not just saying that cause ur mine). If you weren't mine, I'd be jealous of the woman who has you. But I'm lucky, cause I HAVE YOU. I hope we are on to smooth sailing soon. Since December we've been through, strep throat (2x), Scarlett fever, stomach flues, norwalk/food poisoning, stitches, and surgery. I think we deserve a little bit of a break. I hope to have our VERY late anniversary date with you soon. Dinner and movie. Let's get a sitter and have some alone fun. I love you papa poppers. Now make some plans and call a sitter will ya? :)

Here is a picture Jason took of me during my unconsciousness. Hubby must surely love me. Look at me? I am nothing glamorous, not even that pretty, but my heart is big and when I care and love someone or something, I LOVE very hard.

I hope to continue blogging in the coming weeks. I miss it and it's been needed more then ever. If you have made it this far down, thank you and hope you enjoyed my experience.